FOCUSING AND PERSONAL GROWTH

SOLVING INTERNAL CONFLICTS

“Two Sides” to Almost Every Issue!!!

Intuitive Focusing, central to the PRISMS/S Focusing Process ,  is exactly a process for sitting down with conflicting parts of yourself and getting a conversation going which can end in conflict resolution and finding a new way out, a Paradigm Shift.

Frequently, if you are following the Intuitive Focusing protocol, you will get to a point where your articulation of The Creative Edge gets to a conflict inside of yourself:

  • “And on the one hand there is this…and on the other hand there is this other thing” or
  •  “Part of me wants to go forward, but part of me is holding back” or
  •  “It seems so clear that I want to do this, but, for some reason, I’m not doing it” or
  •  “As soon as I move in this direction, a critical voice jumps out and says, ‘No, you don’t want to do that!”

At this point, you can spend careful Focusing time with first one side of the conflict, and then the other side, finding the intuitive “feel,” the Creative Edge, of one side, setting aside all your already-known solutions, and just sitting with, then carefully making words and images for, that Creative Edge….”It’s something about…”,  “This part wants me to….”  “It wishes it could….” “On this side there is this important thing…”

Then, after a time, you can switch to the other side of the conflict – this may stand as another separate “part” or “side” of the issue (“The part that is holding me back,” “The part that can’t do that…” “The reasons why not…”), but it may also be just a need to sense into “Whatever is holding me back…”  “Some kind of critical voice…” “Just this feeling of stuckness, that there is some other side to it….” Either way, you can begin the same Focusing process, setting aside the already-known, finding and sitting with the Creative Edge, carefully finding words and images that are “just right” in capturing it.

Ideally, at some time in this process, the two sides will begin to “cross” each other. You’ll discover, for instance, that “the Critical voice” is actually a vulnerable child part trying to protect you from getting hurt, that the one side was afraid of something that the other side knows is not really a problem, that the one side can help the other side to get over some fearful aspect of the situation .

Sometimes, the new, win/win solution will not arrive right as you are spending Focusing time with the two sides.  The important ingredient in fermenting change is just “sitting with” the unclear, murky “intuitive feel,” giving quiet Intuitive Focusing attention to The Creative Edge.

The more you can do this, just Pause to pay attention to the “intuitive feel,” the more you are activating the Self-Righting tendency, (Self-Organizing Tendency), and, eventually, during a Focusing turn or some other time, a Paradigm Shift will occur and new solutions and action possibilities will arise.

Mini-Course From Dr. McGuire’s Blogs

(Each link takes you to a short blog including actual exercises you can try)

 

Want to learn more about Focused Listening and Intuitive Focusing?

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These materials are offered purely as self-help skills. In providing them, Dr. McGuire is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.