CE Focusing Blog

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way.

Business, collaboration, community building, conflict resolution, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | collaboration, collaborative decision making, conflict resolution, Creativity, felt shifts, Gendlin's Focusing, inner wisdom, innovative problem solving, Intuitive Focusing, paradigm shifts, self-help skills, task-oriented meetings

GENDLIN’S FOCUSING AND COLLABORATIVE DECISION MAKING

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, January 16, 2008 11:59 pm

Instant “Ahah!”s #5: Collaborative Decision Making

Free Downloads:

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

SHARING LEADERSHIP AND IMPASSE RESOLUTION

From Dr. McGuire’s article, “Collaborative Edge Decision Making“:

“5. Shared Leadership Component at Decision Making Meetings

Rather than depending upon the skill of a naturally talented chairperson, being held captive by the caprice of a bad one, or suffering from the chaos and anarchy of “the leaderless group,” in the Collaborative Edge Decision Making method , the skill of leadership is broken down into a number of tasks which are then assigned to various group members. No one person carries the onus of staying on top of all aspects of the task, and all group members come to feel responsible for contributing to good group process.

The five task roles can be rotated among group members from meeting to meeting, or, with group agreement, certain members can specialize in a particular task. In a more hierarchical setting, the supervisor or coordinator may take the role of agenda keeper each meeting. In a different group, a person too shy to be process monitor may be a very assertive time-keeper, and so on. However, in general, it is a good idea to keep rotating the roles in order to insure equality of ownership and responsibility. As everyone shares the tasks involved in group leadership, everyone will also take ownership of the group process and more actively participate in decision making.

6. Creative Edge Impasse Resolution Component

According to the Creating At The Edge principles, the solutions to problems are implicit in the intuitive “feel of the whole thing,” the Creative Edge. Similarly, conflicts and arguments hold within them important information for decision making, accessed through the Creative Edge “intuitions” of the participants.

Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening are the Core Skills for articulating innovative solutions from the Creative Edge. So, when decision making breaks down at meetings, the way out of the impasse can be found through turning to a variety of approaches which use the Listening and Focusing skills and the Interpersonal Focusing method to facilitate the creation of new solutions, and Paradigm Shifts, out of the Creative Edge intuitions of participants.”

For a complete explanation of the theory behind access to The Creative Edge and innovative decision making, you can download Dr. McGuire’s comprehensive article, “Collaborative Edge Decision Making Method, ” . As a bonus, the Appendix of this article includes Handouts you can use at actual meetings, one for each role in Shared Leadership.

Reread the simple “How To’s For Groups” (Instant “Ahah!” #5 in Mini-Manual). They define the five roles in Shared Leadership and various Listening/Focusing methods for Impasse resolution. The “How To’s” arose from my dissertation research, Listening and Interruptions in Task-Oriented Groups, University of Chicago, 1977, with Eugene Gendlin, creator of Focusing (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984) as advisor.

Over these four weeks, we are looking at incorporating the procedures into groups that you belong to:

What are the plusses and minuses of these meetings?
What is the “whole body feel” of being at these meetings?
Do people interrupt each other?
Are conflicts polarized and never changing?
Do people feel free to share their negative feelings about a decision?
Does a minority do all the talking?
Is there a chance to pause to formulate a new but vague idea?
Can you imagine asking the group to try out the Shared Leadership model in Instant “Ahah!” #5?
Can you imagine incorporating Listening and Focusing skills into these meetings? What would the difference be?

Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.

Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.

You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!! Today’s blog is part of the year-long e-course offered through the Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter.

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Business, collaboration, conflict resolution, core skills, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | collaboration, collaborative decision making, conflict resolution, Creativity, felt shifts, Gendlin's Focusing, inner wisdom, innovative problem solving, Intuitive Focusing, paradigm shifts, self-help skills, task-oriented meetings

HAVING A PARADIGM SHIFT: COMPLETE FOCUSING SESSION INSTRUCTIONS

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, January 14, 2008 5:35 pm

Gendlin’s Six-Step Focusing Process: McGuire’s PRISMS/S

      In Intuitive Focusing, first, you relax and find a felt sense, an “intuitive feel” that is before words and more than words. Then, you go back and forth bween open-ended questions (“Why is this hard for me?”, “What’s the meaning for me?”, “How is this related to that other decision?”) and the “intuitive feel,” looking for words or images that exactly capture “the feel of the whole thing,”resolution, of knowing the meaning.

     At this moment of “Ahah!” you are experiencing a “felt shift,” a Paradigm shift. The kaleidoscope turns, and the whole situation is new. New ideas, emotions, and action steps suddenly become possible.

     Eugene Gendlin (Focusing, 1981, 1984) was the first to describe Focusing as a series of steps which could be practiced as a self-help, problem solving method. Please see Intuitive Focusing for a full explanation of Gendlin’s six-steps of the Focusing process.

     Also review the PRISMS/S Problem Solving Process for Dr. McGuire’s version of the steps leading from Pausing to Paradigm Shifts.

      Below is a set of instructions taking you through the complete Intuitive Focusing process. If you purchase Creative Edge Focusing ™’s Self-help Package , you can listen to audio CD Intuitive Focusing Instructions, Disc 2, Track 1: Relaxation, Then Focusing. Read Sample Chapter.

Be Gentle With Yourself

      At all times, please remember the Focusing Attitude, the Caring Feeling Presence inside which we are also practicing these four weeks! Having a Caring Feeling attitude toward whatever arises inside is the best insurance for a wonderful quiet time with your own inner experiencing.

      Try these long instructions only as long as you feel comfortable. Don’t be judgmental of yourself if nothing huge seems to be happening. It can take a long time to learn to recognize a felt sense, the “intuitive feel,” amidst all of the other things going on inside of your body (thoughts, images, muscular sensations, etc.). If you’ve recently joined this e-newsletter, later exercises will take you back to practicing separate steps of Focusing, like Relaxation, Clearing A Space, and Getting A Felt Sense. Impatient? You can check earlier e-newsletters about these exercises at the Creative Edge Focusing E-Newsletter Archives. And/or you can start at the beginning of Intuitive Focusing, Disc 1, and try each exercise in sequence.

     Don’t force yourself to stay quietly inside longer than is pleasurable for your. Remember, many people learn the basics of Intuitive Focusing and having “felt shifts,” or Paradigm Shifts better if they can be in interaction with a Listening partner. Start your own self-help group, using the Focusing In Community (Focusing en Comunidad) manual from the Self-Help package, or seek individual Coaching or a class/workshop with a Creative Edge Focusing Consultant or Certified Focusing Trainer

      If any tears arise during Intuitive Focusing, let them come. Be very gentle and curious with the place the tears come from, asking “What are these tears all about?”, “Why does this move me?”, “What’s the meaning of these tears?”

Three Different Approaches To A Complete Focusing Session

     Each of the three sets of complete Focusing instructions we will try in the next lessons emphasizes a different way of getting a “felt sense” or “intuitive feel.”
1.             “How Am I Today?”: You simply ask yourself, “How am I today?” and wait and see what comes as a felt sense.
2.             “Clearing A Space”: You clear a space inside, making a  list  of  all the issues you find, positive and negative, then choose the one thing from the list you would like to focus on.
3.             “Focusing On A Situation” You think of a specific situation or issue about which you want to learn more, and find the “bodily sense” of how that whole thing feels.

     Try each set. You may find that one way works consistently better for you, or you may find that you like to use different instructions to work on different kinds of issues. But, for the next four weeks, we will practice #1:

     1. “How am I today?”-Allow 20-30 minutes  (click to access e-newsletter archive with the complete Focusing Session exercise)

Download our Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual (”Ajas” Instantaneos en espanol) for ten exercises bringing Listening and Focusing into your everyday life starting today.

Download our complete Intuitive Focusing Instructions to start practicing Relaxation, Getting a Felt Sense, and Intuitive Focusing today!

Find classes/workshops/phone coaching in our Listings section or Coaching/Classes/Consulting with Dr. McGuire in the Store.

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

core skills, experiential focusing therapy, Intuitive Focusing, self-help skills | felt shifts, Gendlin's Focusing, inner wisdom, Intuitive Focusing, meditation techniques, paradigm shifts, relaxation techniques, self-help skills

COLLABORATIVE DECISION MAKING MEETINGS: HAVING CREATIVE, EFFICIENT MEETINGS

By Kathy McGuire, January 10, 2008 4:46 pm

EVERYONE PARTICIPATES IN MEETINGS!
LET’S MAKE THEM PRODUCTIVE AND PLEASANT

If you are in a business or academic setting, you may have decision making meetings many times a week, even several times a day. They may be in a twosome, a small group or team, or a larger group.

There are meetings of religious community committees and non-profit organizations we belong to. And, we have decision making meetings with our significant others, our partners, children, or whole family every day!

Below you will find a link to the simple “How To’s For Groups” which arose from my dissertation research, Listening and Interruptions in Task-Oriented Groups, University of Chicago, 1977, with Eugene Gendlin, creator of Focusing (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984, 2007) as advisor.

You will also be able to download articles explaining the theory and practice around incorporating Focused Listening and Intuitive Focusing into task-oriented meetings.

Main point: creativity and innovation happen when people are allowed enough of a “pause” to check in with their whole intuitive knowledge about an issue or situation. Intuitive Focusing, with Focused Listening, allows space for articulating completely new ideas, not simply recycle old, polarized arguments.

Free Downloads:

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

Over the next four weeks, we will look at incorporating the Collaborative Thinking procedures into groups that you belong to.

You can begin learning now by thinking about the groups you belong to, the meetings you attend:

What are the plusses and minuses of these meetings?
What is the “whole body feel” of being at these meetings?
Do people interrupt each other?
Are conflicts polarized and never changing?
Do people feel free to share their negative feelings about a decision?
Does a minority do all the talking?
Is there a chance to pause to formulate a new but vague idea?

For a complete explanation of the theory behind access to The Creative Edge and innovative decision making, you can download Dr. McGuire’s comprehensive article,
“Collaborative Edge Decision Making Method, ” As a bonus, the Appendix of this article includes Handouts you can use at actual meetings, one for each role in Shared Leadership.

The PRISMS/S Problem Solving Method, with its Core Skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focusing Listening, and the seven methods from The Creative Edge Pyramid for incorporating PRISMS/S at every level of organization, can be explored in the Core Concepts area at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, and the many Free and Purchased resources found there. Articles en espanol

Read the simple How To’s for Collaborative Thinking at Creative Edge Focusing’s website.

Download Dr. McGuire’s article “Collaborative Edge Decision Making” en espanol

Metodo de Toma de Decisiones del Borde de Colaboracion

Read theory connecting Pauses for Intuitive Focusing with Quality of Decisions in an excerpt from Dr. McGuire’s research, “Listening and Interruptions In Task-Oriented Groups”

Learn more about Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening and Creative Edge Organizations at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, filled with free downloads on creativity, spirituality, collaborative thinking, parenting, innovation in business, and many other aspects of application of Focusing and Listening skills at home, at work, in your community, and globally.

Download our Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual (”Ajas” Instantaneos en espanol) for ten exercises bringing Listening and Focusing into your everyday life starting today.

Download our complete Intuitive Focusing Instructions to start practicing Relaxation, Getting a Felt Sense, and Intuitive Focusing today!

Find classes/workshops/phone coaching in our Listings section or Coaching/Classes/Consulting with Dr. McGuire in the Store.

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Business, collaboration, conflict resolution, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING | business meetings, collaboration, collaborative decision making, creative edge meetings, Creativity, Focused Listening, group process, innovation, intuition, Intuitive Focusing, intuitive thinking, meetings, negotiation, problem solving, right-brain creativity, task-oriented meetings, win/win decision making

FOCUSING TURN DEMONSTRATION: BIG “FELT SHIFT” IN LIFE-LONG “SCRIPT”

By Kathy McGuire, December 20, 2007 2:37 pm

This was such a paradigmatic example of Gendlin’s Focusing self-help technique (Focusing, Bantam, 1981,1984) and McGuire’s Intuitive Focusing, that I wanted to share it here. It includes Clearing A Space, deeper Focusing, and a huge bodily-felt shift, predicted to cause lasting change in “personality,” in how the person lives from then on.

It also ended up capturing something about this holiday season, the symbol of a young, struggling, “holy” family (Christian or not, it is this symbolism that touches me).

The turn happened on the Creative Edge Practice yahoo group where we are developing a model, a safe place for learning about Listening/Focusing directly in an email group. You can join us! Go to the link to read a description of the group.

In response to my Focusing turn, three different people offered Listening Reflection, each beautifully, empathically “holding and grasping” my message and giving it back to me, enriched by their own being-there in a Listening way. What an educational experience to be able to compare styles of Reflecting!

Here is the complete turn: it started slowly, me thinking only of Clearing a Space, moving into a deep Focusing, huge felt-shifting experience. The kaleidescope turned, and everything is newly in process:

“Okay, I am going to touch base with myself, as this holiday time (for me, my 62nd birthday Dec. 24, then Christmas, Dec. 25, New Years….) by Clearing A Space, just to see what is on my plate. No desperate issue to use Focusing with, but a sense of wanting to “take an inventory,” see what is there (Clearing A Space is Getting A Felt Sense Exercise #3, p.10 in Complete Focusing Instructions download you received, also on CD Intuitive Focusing Training, Track 10. You can find e-newsletters about it at E-newsletter archive, dates 10/12-11/1 ):

Phew!! All that teaching done, now turning toward myself, just beginning to follow my breathing as a way of coming inside my body— big breath, big sigh. Ahhhh!

—Got to slow down, give up “teaching” mind set, take time, take those whole “minutes” for finding the felt sense, not try to do this fast—

—-(long pause for felt sensing) Wow! (almost teary feeling) This holiday is almost here, after all these months of build up, and, if I am not careful, I am going to “miss it,” miss the “holiday” time-off, time for relationships, feeling of it ——

— Moving into a little Focusing here —- I am not really taking a full break —still doing email, blogging, website about three hours a day —what if I took a total break for the week from Christmas to New Years? —– tension in my shoulders — responsibility — also almost teary : “I would miss my email community — they are a large part of my “family” —-

—Many people also experiencing this “holiday,” not wanting a lot of emails — natural slow down?(doing some meridian tapping on sore spots each side of my collar bone: “I carry so much tension, even when I am trying to be on vacation —-TRYING!” (Big sigh, letting go of some tension—)

—Leaving further Focusing on that issue for another time. Back to Clearing A Space (I am looking for the peace, the “Except for all of that, I am completely okay!” experience that can come just with Clearing). (Big breath. Sigh. Releasing some tension). Ahhhh!

—Next issue that arises: Seeing my son, daughter-in-law, new grandson today— almost teary feeling — they are like Mary and Joseph — too young. They have a home, but not much else in the way of security — the world against them, too, in some way, because of their ADHD way of being (more teary here — pausing to sense into this. More of a sad sigh…)— some actual tears now, some relief in that symbolism — that there will be some angels and shepherds and wise men for them, too — some supports —that it is “not just me” trying to hold them up —WOW! That is an insight for me. Not to experience only all the hardship side but to see that there is some world-love, some world-support for them also—-NOT JUST ME (more teary feeling there. I will pause to be with that part — the strain I put on me to “hold them up” —)Big sigh—-

—My son will be at least yelled at at work, if not fired, because people stole something while he was cashier — it wasn’t totally his fault, but he was crying, stressed out, about it — but also angry about being blamed —

—And he is considering joining the military as a way to cope with this young family, all the bills….that is a big “weight” on me (I am drooping under the crush of it) Big Sigh. So, there is that. That is a heavy one — but I am reminded of the “support” symbolism above — the weight of that, the decision, whatever happens, it’s not all on my shoulders (ALL??? REally, in some way, none of it is on my shoulders —tears, sobbing, really, here —- I really cannot “remove this cross” from them. It is theirs to bear, not mine—much more sobbing there, nausea —- I would much rather be able to control it, to take it on, take care of it, make it come out alright —- more sobbing—-

(Had to get up and walk around. There is a huge physical pain shooting all up the sides of my torso, through my spine/ribcage, and sobbing about how I would rather carry it, even if stressful, than acknowledge that I really can’t control it, I can’t fix it— of course, logically, I know this — but THIS IS DIFFERENT. THIS IS LIKE AN EXPERIENTIAL, BODY-KNOWING THAT I CAN’T CONTROL IT. THIS COULD BE A BIG SHIFT, A BIG CHANGE IN MY MAJOR LIFE PATTERN OF TRYING TO CARRY EVERYTHING— so, I am going to breath into this and walk more, let this body-level shift happen more thoroughly—)

—This is big. I can’t even comprehend, really, what would come next as a way-of-being if I put this down, this idea that I am controlling/saving/holding up things, like whether people I love live or die, etc. — I’m thinking “This is what the Freudians mean by ‘secondary gain’ — what is the person gaining by having what looks like an unproductive pattern/behavior?” I’m feeling this experientially, as a body, not just a head, knowing — Big sigh. I need to take more time to “live into” this body-shifting—- Pause again, walking.

— Sitting, just breathing, feeling twinges shooting all through my body, loosenings, stretchings — but also part of me that wants to “crunch back up,” go back to thinking I am controlling things — but, I know that, fortunately, I guess, in real felt-shifting, like this is, there is no going back —-“The kaleidescope turns, and everything is new.” Darn!!! (meridian tapping those sore spots on collarbone again)

— A glimmering: “Well, silly, you weren’t really controlling things before either, with all that stress and tension. YOu just thought you were!!!!!!!”” (something in me starts shuttering here, shaking with fear — this is too scary for that part. I will be with that part now, turning compassionate, nurturing attention to it —–) Pause.

—I’m looking at a poster I have on the wall. It is a big pool of wavy water. Floating in the middle, a mother cradles her child in her hands. There are larger hands cradling those two. And really large hands cradling “all of that.” I want to comfort myself there, convince myself, believe that there are “larger hands” holding it all up:”S/he’s got the whole world in his/her hands,” the song says —- Ahhhh! More pausing to “sit with” all of this — the scared part, the letting go, the hope that there is love/support in this world so harsh for these young parents — some teariness there—Ahhhh!

—still too scary — thinking of my child going off to Afghanistan or Iraq, him thinking he is going to work on computers and come out getting a job for $120,000!!!! Too young. Too innocent to face these huge decisions…but also very stubborn. Very much needing to “do it myself.” And, yes, it is his destiny. I cannot do it for him. It ruins the very “thing,” the “selfhood” for him if I try to decide for him. Sigh….

—I can’t do anymore with this place now. Need it to rest. Trust the continuing bodily shifting. Ahhh!

— Sense that there is this whole “other thing” on my plate. Where I thought I would spend my Focusing time. This whole issue about my work, what new projects I should take on, what leave alone. How be less stressed. I’m not going to go there now. Another time. But I know they are related. Saving my son. Saving the world. It’s all part of that same “life script” :”I can hold it all up. I can change it all. I can save everybody, if I just work hard enough.” Big sigh!!!

I’m stopping here! Another huge post, huge Focusing turn come out of Clearing a Space. I do feel lighter. My spine straighter, my body less hunched over with carrying it all. I am optimistic! I trust this felt-shifting, carrying forward process. I know it is in the “direction of righting,” wholeness.

I do feel finished. I do not need reflection. But, of course, it is always welcome. It is always nice to ALSO be heard, as well as hearing myself. And, of course, this group is a place to practice Reflecting, so I’m game for any person to try it, perhaps with just some small part…or not! It’s vacation!

Warmly, and thanks for Listening, “holding this space.” I would not do this Focusing at all this well or deeply “alone”.

Kathy

—Learn more about Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening and Experiential Focusing Therapy at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, filled with free downloads on creativity, spirituality, collaborative thinking, parenting, innovation in business, and many other aspects of application of Focusing and Listening skills at home, at work, in your community, and globally.

Find classes/workshops/phone coaching in our Listings section or Coaching/Classes/Consulting with Dr. McGuire

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

core skills, experiential focusing therapy, health, Intuitive Focusing, self-help skills | existential therapy, experiential focusing therapy, felt shift, Focusing, Gendlin, Holy Family, Intuitive Focusing, self-help skills, spiritual symbolism

INTUITIVE COOKING: COFFEE “GOOD AS STARBUCKS”

By Kathy McGuire, November 30, 2007 5:33 pm

Key Secret:

It is weak coffee that is bitter! It is exactly putting too much water through too few grounds that sucks out the bitter acids in the coffee.

So, while intuitively, you might think you have to make your coffee weaker to get rid of bitter taste, exactly the opposite is the case.

It is always better to start with too strong coffee and add water than to make weak, and therefore full of bitter acids, coffee.

Coffee making is about the only place where I measure exactly instead of intuitively. It took me over 50 years to get it right, and I’m sticking with the formula.

Basic Formula (And Julia Child in Joy of Cooking reiterates it on page 26, 1964 edition!): 2 US Tablespoons of regular or fine ground coffee to 3/4 to 1 8-ounce cup of fresh water.

Me, I use a small Mr. Coffee, fill it to the metal band (they call this “4 cups,” but it is only about 2 1/2 8-ounce cups of water), and use 2 1/8 cup (2T) scoops of fine ground coffee of the darker, stronger kind, like French Roast.

I started with Starbuck’s coffee I bought at the supermarket, to get the recipe down (“good as Starbuck’s” was my goal. Yours may be higher, like freshly ground beans, fancy extracting pots…that is not me).

And, me, I use decaf coffee only, because the real thing can keep me awake for 36 hours straight. But that is another story about “highly sensitive people” and food allergies.

It is very hard to find interesting decaf coffees. Starbuck’s has only one House Blend. Walmart has a pretty good Java Express decaf French Vanilla. Natural food stores may have some good organic ones.

But I have found the most interesting decafs and bargain prices at discount stores like Tuesday Morning and TJMax in the gourmet food sections, like, recently, Godiva decaf Special Roast and decaf Vanilla. And lots of other little-known brands, even, when lucky, decaf Chocolate Raspberry, Creme Brulee, Irish Creme. You just have to keep checking. I buy six or more if I find them. Whether kept in the freezer or on the shelf (I do put the original bag inside a ziplock bag), they taste “good as Starbuck’s” to me after several months!

So, don’t skimp on the coffee and ruin the flavor!

While Intuitive Cooking is only an off-shoot, learn the self-help skills that really matter to me, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, at my website for Creative Edge Focusing (TM). See how the skills apply to personal growth, creativity, spirituality, parenting, as well as creative, innovative problem solving and interpersonal conflict resolution in work-oriented settings. Two self-help skills as “emotional and social intelligence” for every part of life.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

food, Intuitive eating | coffee, food, gourmet, Intuitive eating, Intuitive Focusing, recipes

ESTUDIO DE CASOS Y TESTIMONIOS

Comments (0)

By Kathy McGuire, November 29, 2007 1:11 pm

Focusing – Individualmente, con un Entrenador de Borde Creativo o con un Terapeuta de Focusing Experiencial.

Cualquiera que sabe que Focusing Intuitivo es lo básico del Proceso de Solución de Problemas PRISMAS/S, puede usarlo en cualquier momento para dar un nuevo paso seguro, desde la tensión o confusión hasta la solución del problema. Este será un nuevo “¡Ajá!”. Físicamente experimentado en su totalidad por el cuerpo, el cual asiente y relaja la tensión diciendo: “¡Sí, eso es exactamente! “, “¡Ahora puedo actuar!”

En mi ejemplo de abajo, primero uso Focusing Intuitivo por mi cuenta, luego, generalmente, contrato la ayuda de un Escuchador Focalizado, en este caso, mi esposo. Tengo la suerte de tener un esposo entrenado pero con él, me gusta compartir un turno igual de escucha.

Ejemplo del Caso:

Por varias semanas he estado dándole vueltas a un problema relacionado con el trabajo; he estado tensa, bloqueada, con noches sin dormir, obsesiva. Estoy preocupada por que si tomo alguna acción me pueden demandar, pero no quiero echarme para atrás.

He estado dando algunos pasos y gastando dinero tratando de protegerme legalmente. Pero la tensión, el insomnio y la obsesión continúan. Me encuentro a mí misma imaginándome cómo voy a defenderme en la Corte. Avanzo con esfuerzo, pero el costo es muy alto. Todo el proyecto se ha vuelto agotador.

Finalmente, después de semanas me doy cuenta que debo sentarme en silencio y usar Focusing Intuitivo acerca del asunto. Entonces, cierro mis ojos y sigo mi respiración por un momento a manera de relajación para llegar a un “espacio claro” y silencioso adentro— Suspiro…, dejo salir un poco la tensión…me pregunto: “Realmente ¿de qué se trata todo esto?…” Espero silenciosamente que algo nuevo aparezca…, un sentir intuitivo… o un Borde Creativo…para mí…, este Borde Creativo generalmente viene no a mi cabeza sino al centro de mi cuerpo…, alrededor de mi corazón…, a la cavidad del pecho…

Cuando viene un “sentir intuitivo” busco silenciosamente unas palabras o una imagen que comiencen a asirlo. “No quiero dar mi brazo a torcer…”, “No quiero ser derrotada…” (Hay un sentimiento con lágrimas aquí) “Tengo el derecho de hacerlo…” Respiro un poco más, revisando estas palabras frente a este “sentir intuitivo”…suspiro…dejo salir un poco de tensión.

En respuesta a estas palabras, viene un nuevo “sentir intuitivo” al centro de mi cuerpo, cerca del área del pecho…le presto atención, buscando palabras o una imagen que pudiera capturarlo…No puedo seguir así. Es demasiada tensión…Me siento en silencio manteniendo estas palabras frente al Borde Creativo, el “sentir intuitivo…”

Al usar el Paso de Preguntar de Focusing Intuitivo, se me viene la pregunta: “¿Qué puedo hacer para hacer que esto tenga menos tensión…?”…Permanezco con esta pregunta, prestándole atención al centro de mi cuerpo… y en lugar de contestar desde mi cabeza…, desde lo ya conocido…, espero que se forme un “sentir intuitivo” de una respuesta…Cuidadosamente busco palabras o imágenes que capturen el sentir intuitivo…suspiro, relajando la tensión.

En respuesta, consigo unas palabras, las cuales se sienten como un nuevo”Ajá” “¡Oh!, se trata de esta pequeña parte del proyecto…No tengo que renunciar a todo lo demás…, tal vez solamente a esa pequeña parte para reducir la tensión…

Reviso estas palabras frente al “sentir intuitivo”… Sí, ¡hay una relajación allí!

Estoy sacudiendo mi cabeza: “¡Sí!, ¡eso es!”… “¡eso relajaría la tensión!”, “¡el miedo!…”

Me siento emocionada aquí. Es difícil concentrarse. Quiero levantarme y caminar ansiosamente… ¡no puedo hacer Focusing por mucho tiempo! Le pregunto a mi esposo que está entrenado en Escucha Focalizada si él estaría disponible; sí, él será mi Escuchador Focalizado mientras yo continúo este proceso de Focusing Intuitivo. Nos tomará de 10 a 20 minutos. ¡A él le gusta hacerlo!…

Cierro los ojos y permanezco en este nuevo lugar, “Es solamente acerca de este pequeño lugar…” suspiro relajando la tensión…

Mi esposo refleja: “Así que es realmente sólo esta pequeña parte que tienes que cambiar. No tienes que dejar todo…sólo esa parte…”

Estoy asintiendo otra vez, todo mi cuerpo dice: “¡Sí!, puedo hacer eso realmente…,” “sí…, me libraré de ese miedo, esa tensión agotadora!…” Continúo revisando esa posible solución frente al “sentir intuitivo” y todo mi cuerpo sigue diciendo, “Sí, todo eso está bien conmigo. Puedo hacerlo sin sentirme derrotada”.

Mi esposo refleja: “Así que estás revisando y todo tu cuerpo te dice: “Sí eso podría estar bien”…. “Puedo hacer eso sin sentirme derrotada”. Sigo asintiendo, “Sí, eso podría estar bien…” suspiro…, relajando la tensión…

Seguimos por un rato, yo ahora en la modalidad de resolver problemas, intentando posibles opciones nuevas y diferentes; continúo revisando con el “sentir intuitivo”, El Borde Creativo: “¿Está esto realmente bien?”… “¿Seré capaz de dormir en la noche si hago esto?…” Mi esposo continúa usando Escucha Focalizada para reflejar lo que yo digo,…dejándome revisar y aclarar…

Finalmente decido mantener esa pequeña parte ahora, siempre y cuando me prepare a mí misma para dejarla si es que tengo la necesidad de hacerlo....Esto parece ser una buena solución (Estoy moviendo la cabeza asintiendo y suspirando, relajando la tensión, es la manera que tiene mi cuerpo de decir: “¡Sí!, ¡esto realmente encajó…!” “… ¡Tú puedes hacer esto realmente…!” Seguidamente, terminamos el turno de Escucha/Focusing de manera formal.

En los próximos días, tengo menos tensión. En las noches siguientes puedo dormir, surgen nuevas ideas, alternativas para reemplazar esa pequeña parte, etc. Tengo nueva energía para seguir adelante con todo el proyecto. La posibilidad de “pequeños cambios” me da también la oportunidad de permitir que entren otras personas en mi proyecto sin que me asalte toda esa ansiedad y miedo que me han mantenido aislada, incapaz de compartir mis ideas con otras personas.

Si su meta es solamente utilizar Focusing para Ud. mismo, puede tomar una clase o un taller de entrenamiento en Focusing de un profesional de Focusing que Ud. puede encontrar en nuestra sección de Recursos Gratis.

Si desea ayuda de Escucha Focalizada de manera consistente y sin tener que devolver el servicio como Escuchador (que es lo que sucede en las Parejas de Focusing como mencionamos mas abajo), entonces Ud. puede contratar un Entrenador de Focusing de Borde Creativo o un Terapeuta de Focusing Experiencial (Ver listados en la sección de Recursos Gratis).

Si Ud. ya tiene una relación de Entrenamiento, puede concertar una cita para Escucha Focalizada por teléfono; a menudo, podría ya comenzar a Focalizar simplemente escribiendo un correo a su Entrenador expresándole acerca de su asunto o preocupación, poniendo atención a su interior, usando respuestas de Focusing Intuitivo. El Entrenador puede enviarle un correo de vuelta con respuestas de Escucha Focalizada. ¡De esta manera Ud. recibe ayuda instantánea a mitad de precio!

Este material es ofrecido solamente como destrezas de autoayuda. Al proveerlos, la Dra. McGuire no se compromete en rendir servicios psicológicos, financieros, legales u otros servicios profesionales. Si se necesita la asistencia de un experto o de un consejero, se debe buscar los servicios de un profesional competente.

TESTIMONIO

“Siempre que hago Focusing, estoy sorprendida de ver cuán rápido surge el asunto, y cómo, con la ayuda de un Escuchador, hay una transformación que va desde la confusión hacia la comprensión y finalmente la solución.”

( Profesional asociado con una organización sin fines de lucro).

Translation by Agnes Rodriguez, Certified Focusing Professional and Creative Edge Associate offering Listening and Focusing training by phone in English and Spanish. See Agnes Rodriguez.

See also The Focusing Institute for articles in Spanish by Eugene Gendlin, creator of Focusing, and Spanish-speaking Focusing Teachers world-wide.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Business, core skills, health, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills, spanish translations | Focused Listening, Focusing, Focusing en espanol, Gendlin, Intuitive Focusing, peer counseling, problem solving, self-help, stress reduction

FOCUSING AND WORK: STRESS REDUCTION = FINDING WORDS

Comments (0)

By Kathy McGuire, November 27, 2007 7:25 pm

In the example below, taken from the Case Studies area at Creative Edge Focusing (TM), the Focuser goes from unspecified, work-related anxiety and sleeplessness to being able to name the problem and begin problem solving, using Intuitive Focusing:

1. Focusing — Alone Or With A Creative Edge Coach or Experiential Focusing Therapist

Anyone who knows Intuitive Focusing, as the core of the PRISMS/S Problem Solving Process, can use it any time to go from confusion and tension to an absolute sureness of a next step of problem resolution. This will be a physically experienced “Ahah!”, indicated by the whole body nodding and releasing tension, saying “Yes, this is exactly it! I can act now.”

In my example below, first I use Intuitive Focusing on my own, then, at a certain point, I contract for Focused Listening help from another, my husband in this case. I’m lucky enough to have a trained husband (I trained him!), but, with him, eventually I will want to give equal time:

Case Example:

For several weeks I have been stewing about a work-related problem, stymied, tense, sleepless nights, obsessing. I am concerned that I might be sued if I take a certain action, yet I don’t want to back down. I have even taken steps and spent money to try to protect myself legally. Yet the tension, sleeplessness, obsessing continue. I find myself imagining how I would defend myself in court. I forge ahead, but the emotional cost is very high. The whole project has become draining.

Finally, after weeks, I have the sense to sit down quietly and actively use Intuitive Focusing on the issue. I close my eyes and follow my breathing for a while as a way of relaxing and coming to a quiet, “clear space” inside……I sigh, let go of some tension…..I ask myself, “What is this all about, really?”….I wait quietly for something new, an “intuitive feel” or Creative Edge to come…for me, this Creative Edge usually comes in the center of my body (not my head!), around my heart, chest cavity…..

When an “intuitive feel” comes, I quietly look for some words or an image which begin to grasp it: “I don’t want to give up….I don’t want to be beaten (there is a teary feeling here)….I have a right to do this”…..I breath some more, checking these words against the “intuitive feel”……I sigh, release some tension……

A new “intuitive feel” comes in the center of my body, around the chest area, in response to these words….I pay attention to it, looking for words or an image that might capture it…….”I can’t go on like this. It is too stressful….”….I sit quietly, holding these words against The Creative Edge, the “intuitive feel”…..

I use the Asking Step of Intuitive Focusing and a question comes: “What can I do to make this less stressful?”….I sit with this question, paying attention in the center of my body…instead of answering from my head, the already-known, I wait for an “intuitive feel” of an answer to form …….I carefully look for words or images to capture the intuitive feel……..I sigh, releasing tension…

I get words in answer which feel like a new “Ahah!”: “Oh, it’s really just about this one small part of the project…….I don’t have to give up everything else, but maybe just that one small part, to reduce the tension”….I check these words against the “intuitive feel”….there is an easing there. I am nodding my head: “Yes, that is really it…That would release the tension, the fear…..”

I get sort of excited here. It’s hard to concentrate. I want to get up and walk anxiously around….I’m not good at doing Focusing alone for very long. I ask my husband, who is trained in Focused Listening and available, if he will be a Focused Listener while I continue this Intuitive Focusing process. It will take 10-20 minutes. He is willing to do this……

I close my eyes and sense into this new place, “It’s really only about this small part”…..I sigh, releasing tension….My husband reflects: “So it’s really only that small part you have to change. You don’t have to give up the whole thing….Just that part.”……

I’m nodding again, my whole body saying, “Yes, I can really do that if it will get rid of this fear, this draining tension”…..I continue checking this possible solution against the “intuitive feel,” and my whole body keeps saying, “Yes, that much is okay with me. I can do that without feeling beaten.” My husband reflects, “So you are checking, and your whole body says, ‘Yes, that would be okay. I could do that…without feeling beaten’”…….I keep nodding, “Yes, that would be okay.”…I sigh, releasing tension….

We go on for a while, me in problem solving mode now, trying out possible different new choices, continuing to check with the “intuitive feel,” The Creative Edge: “Is this really okay?…Will I be able to sleep at night if I do this?” My husband continues using Focused Listening to reflect what I say, letting me check and clarify….

I finally decide a way that I can keep even that small part now, as long as I prepare myself to give it up later if I have to ……..This seems a good solution (I’m nodding and sighing, releasing tension, my body’s way of saying, “Yes, this really fits. You can really do this.”). We end the formal Listening/Focusing turn.

Throughout the next few days, I have less tension. I can sleep at night. New ideas keep popping up: possible replacements for that “one small part,” etc. I have new energy to move ahead with the whole project. This “small change” possibility also gives me a way to let other people in on my project, without raising the whole anxiety and fear issue, which had been keeping me isolated, unable to share my ideas with other people.

If your goal is only to use Focusing by yourself, you can take a Focusing Training class or workshop from a Focusing Professional found in our Free Resources section.

If you want consistent Focused Listening help, without reciprocating as a Listener in a Focusing Partnership as below, then you can hire a Creative Edge Focusing Coach or an Experiential Focusing Therapist (See Listings in Free Resources Section) as a consistent Focused Listener.

If you have a Coaching relationship, you can arrange for Focused Listening by phone, but you can often start Focusing simply by starting to write an email to your Coach on the issue or concern, paying attention inside, using Intuitive Focusing…then, the Coach can send an email back, with Focused Listening responses. This will give you instant help at half the cost!

Email Dr. McGuire to explore Focusing Coaching or Focusing Partnership phone sessions or to set up a free 20-minute Trial Session. You can explore options and prices in The Store

See our website for many descriptions and exercises for learning Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, to subscribe to our free e-course/e-newsletter, and to join our online Creative Edge Practice yahoo group for free, supervised practice of actual listening/focusing skills.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

Business, core skills, Creativity, health, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | creative problem solving, Focused Listening, Intuitive Focusing, online Focusing Course, self-help skills, stress reduction

FOCUSING AND MEDICAL SYMPTOMS: MIGRAINE

By Kathy McGuire, November 26, 2007 7:13 pm

MEDICAL CHANGE EVENT: FROM MIGRAINE TO TEARS OF MEANING

While Instant “Ahah!” # 4, Five-Minute Grieving, specifically addresses what to do if a patient, friend, or co-worker begins to cry, the excerpt below shows how using Intuitive Focusing to “sit with” the “intuitive feel” of a physical symptom can allow that symptom to open into an “Ahah!” of deeper meanings, with a sheen of tears in the eye often the body’s signpost of a place to stop and go deeper into “the feel of the whole thing.”

The excerpt is a tiny portion of a Focusing Partnership session. The Focuser is experienced in using Intuitive Focusing. Early on, as the Focuser talks about waking with the beginnings of a migraine headache and related issues, the Listener notices a faint “shimmer of tears.”

She suggests that the Focuser stop and “sense into” the place of tears. By the end of the session, the Focuser has moved through deep sobbing about the heavy burden of depression she has carried “for soooo long” and experiences the liveliness of a “felt shift,” “being lighter, wanting to dance!” She states that the migraine has abated.

The session begins with Focuser and Listener in chairs facing each other. The Focuser, because of her comfort with the Experiential Focusing process from past practice, chose to keep her eyes closed throughout the session, attending to her inner experiencing. The Listener, Dr. McGuire, begins:

Listener: “So, just feel comfortable closing your eyes and going inside, coming in tune with whatever is there—Let me know if you need some help or when you’re ready to begin speaking—

Focuser: (10 second pause)—“—This morning when I awakened, I had a headache on the left side of my head, and I thought, ‘Oh, it’s migraine coming on’— so I’m just sensing into what that was about, um, like, my body was really full of toxins, like I just wanted to kind of shake the toxins out.”

Listener: “So, even on waking, you noticed there was the beginning of a headache on the left side of your head, and you spent some time with it, just sensing into it, and the feeling was of toxins in your body, and you just wanted to shake them out, shake them out.”

Focuser: (30 second pause) ——- “And I notice that my throat is stopped up this morning, and that’s something I’ve been working on, we’ve been working on together—something deep emotional there in my throat, getting kind of choked up.”

[The Focuser is doing the first step of Experiential Focusing, “clearing a space,” noticing and naming the various issues she is carrying so she can choose one to work on]

Listener: “Yea, so you’re aware of that now, too, your throat getting choked up, and that’s something we’ve worked on before, and it’s connected to deep emotional things—and it seemed like I even saw a shimmer of tears as you described that—maybe just be with that, sit with that ‘choked up.'”

[The Listener notices the beginnings of tears and gives an Experiential Focusing Instruction, suggesting that the Focuser stop talking and pay attention to the “felt sense.”]

Focuser: (tears visible under closed eyelids, face reddening, voice thickening) “What bothers me about it is I keep trying to clear my throat, and it doesn’t clear. I keep trying to clear it, and it prevents me from speaking the way I want to speak, and it’s annoying to people, I think.”

Listener: “Uhhuh.”

Focuser: “It somehow prevents me from projecting my voice—”

Listener: “Umhm.”

Focuser: “I keep trying to get it out, and it just stays there, it’s uh—”

Listener: “Umhm—so what bothers you is you keep trying to clear it out, and it won’t go, and you also think it makes it difficult for other people. You want to project your voice and get it out, and that’s hard for the other people, too, you can’t really speak.”

Focuser: “That really prevents communication.”

You can read the entire excerpt, with commentary, and see the “felt shift” for yourself in Medical Change Events Through Experiential Focusing. You can view the entire 12-minute session in the DVD Listening/Focusing Demonstrations, also part of The Self-Help Package. Download “Being Touched and Being Moved: The Spiritual Value of Tears for many examples of how tears and Focusing interrelate.
Download “Finding The Meaning In Tears” for exercises for using Focusing to find the meaning in your tears. Both articles are packed with real-life examples of how tears “touch us” and “move us” in positive ways.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

core skills, experiential focusing therapy, health, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | Empathic Listening, Intuitive Focusing, medical symptoms, migraine relief, self-help

INTUITIVE EATING: LO CAL PUMPKIN “PIE”?

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, November 20, 2007 5:05 pm

Okay, ’tis the season. We’ve got to have that pumpkin pie. Here are two easy alternatives to get you through:

(1) Tiny pumpkin and pecan pie tartletts (Sam’s Club), frozen: warm up one of each, top with a dollop of low-fat whipped topping or Kool Whip Free —enough to satisfy the urge many times throughout the holidays.

(2) Pumpkin pudding

Canola or other spray

1 15-ounce can plain pumpkin

1 15-ouce can part-skim ricotta cheese

1 tsp cinnamin

1/4 tsp each: cloves, nutmeg, allspice, ginger (whatever you like!)

1/8 cup Splenda or Splenda for Baking (1/2 Splenda, 1/2 sugar)

Add some pecans or walnuts if you like.

Spray pyrex or other oven-proof container. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix ingredients together in a bowl and place in container. Bake about 50 minutes, until lightly browned on bottom and sides. Yum!!! Eat as much as you like! That ricotta is calcium/protein, that pumpkin an orange vegetable!!!!!!

Eat it warmed up. Top with a little low-fat whipped topping if you like.

Happy holiday if you are in the USA! Happy eating anywhere!

See Intuitive Focusing to learn our self-help skill for paying attention to The Creative Edge, the “intuitive feel” of what you want to eat, what would taste great thrown together, and all other aspects of personal growth, creativity, spirituality, conflict resolution, and group decision making!

Kathy McGuire, Director