CE Focusing Blog

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.

Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.

You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

experiential focusing therapy, Focusing-Oriented Body Work, health | body work, breathing exercise, depression, Focusing-oriented body work conference, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, McGuire's intuitive Focusing, meditation, Meeting At The Edge, Michael Mayer, mind/body healing, self-help, stress reduction

COLLABORATIVE EDGE SEXUALITY: TANTRA FOR BUSY COUPLES BOOK

By Carolyn, March 9, 2009 11:30 am

Here is a book of interest to those seeking greater intimacy through the gentle combination of sexuality and spirituality found in Tantra, with a recommendation from internationally-known Focusing Teacher, Ann Weiser Cornell:
~~~~~~~~~~
Diana Daffner
BOOK: www.TantraforBusyCouples.com (Hunter House, March, 2009)

“As a lifelong advocate of how body awareness can bring us into connection with the present moment, I was delighted to encounter this book. With charming anecdotes and refreshing clarity, the Daffners offer a practical guide to that most elusive of states: true intimacy. Highly recommended! “–Ann Weiser Cornell, Ph.D.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Daffner’s also offer educational Intimacy Retreats:

www.IntimacyRetreats.com
941 349-6804
Florida

And Diana offers a CD audio experience guiding you and your lover to greater intimacy: http://www.intimacyretreats.com/lessons2.htm

Diana also participates in Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s e-course (three e-newsletters a week teaching skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening as applied to personal growth, creativity, spirituality, intimacy, conflict resolution, and creative problem solving at home and at work) and writes:

Dear Kathy,

I’ve been meaning to write to thank you for your emails. They are so rich with information and guidance. An impressive body of material. That this one referred to “intimacy” of course caught my attention!

~ Diana

You can subscribe to the e-course at the link below and also find links to our Mini-Course on Intimate Relationship, which includes lessons on Sharing Your Day, Equalizing Sexual Desire, Erotic Massage, Tantric Sexuality, and Sacred Spot Massage.

CREATIVE EDGE FOCUSING(tm): SELF-HELP SKILLS FOR HOME AND WORK

Free Downloads:

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.

Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.

You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

health, relationships, sex | Active Listening, breathing exercise, Gendlin's Focusing, harmonious relationships, intimacy, meditation, self-help skills, sexuality, spirituality, tantra

GENDLIN’S FOCUSING: RELIEVING OVERWHELMING HOLIDAY ANXIETY

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, December 16, 2008 5:29 pm

Free Downloads:

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

DEMONSTRATION OF “FELT SHIFT” THROUGH INTUITIVE FOCUSING

The Kaleidoscope Turns and New Solutions Become Possible

Yesterday, I used Gendlin’s Focusing, (bookstore, www.focusing.org ), or my version Intuitive Focusing, to try to relieve some overwhelming “free floating anxiety” I was suddenly experiencing. I thought it was related to holiday overwhelm somehow, but nothing I told myself, and nothing I tried doing, alleviated it. So, I sat down, went quietly inside, and asked myself the Focusing Question, “What is this anxiety/overwhelm all about?”

I intended to use the specific Clearing A Space exercise to make a list of all the various issues I was carrying in a bodily-felt way, and to set each one outside of myself until I could relax and experience “Except for all of that out on the table, I am totally okay!”.

As I worked through the Clearing A space exercise, I hit upon one specific issue which seemed the “crux” of it all, where my body said, “Yes, yes, that is it! That is what is causing the anxiety!” Gendlin calls this “Ahah!” a “felt shift.” I call it a Paradigm shift: the kaleidoscope turns, the Gestalt changes, and new solutions suddenly appear.

Since that new awareness, the anxiety has disappeared, I have slept well, and, today, I find I have, without thinking about it, changed my priorities in a way which should allow me to avoid this particular anxious state again.

So, here is my Intuitive Focusing Turn, including the Clearing A Space Exercise and a “felt shift” with new action steps arising:

Okay, why am I so nervous, having an anxiety attack. So, “clearing a space” by taking an inventory of “all the things I am carrying inside” — stopping to close eyes, breath in, take this Focusing Question toward my solar plexis area, and waiting for a “felt sense,” an “intuitive feel” to form in response, then looking for words/images to capture that, instead of answering with the “already-known” in my Mind — so, breathing deeply, slowing down, Focusing inward) —

—It’s the holiday season. Focusing Discussion e-list, etc., are quieting down, yet I feel like I need to keep stirring up action, keeping my e-lists alive, blogging — perhaps I need to declare a holiday break for myself, since everyone else seems to need one as well! Setting this aside for more attention later, if needed — big sigh. (sensing in again: What else?”) Big sigh

—Speaking to my son on the phone. He always calls me when he is unhappy. Today unhappy at his job, cold working outside, lonely still being out of town, pissed off about new rules about workers logging in new “time records,” showing how they spent their time on each job, being paid only for time justified, or something like that (this is threatening to me, since it could be a way of deciding who will be laid off in these tight economic times ) —

Something teary here about how “disgruntled” he is — stopping to “sense in” to this “intuitive feel” — the words come “Somehow this will be endless, this worry about him and his job, unless I change something about the way I am or the way I am with him” — when he is employed, I still worry every minute he will lose his job — I am always worried about him.

Something teary here, and I am remembering a recent nighttime dream I had, where he and his baby had had to move out of the apartment I was providing, had to get away from me, but some woman with him had left me two glossy, healthy, very green plants, and in a very tidy way; she had “cleaned up” after them — one was a jade plant, a succulent (something teary here, so sensing in—) a succulent saves up water in its leaves for dry times, but its leaves are also very fat and lush — well, I am going to stop here with this issue, set it aside for later, and keep “clearing a space,” making my list, seeing if I can alleviate this anxiety —-

Big sigh (sensing in again, “What else am I carrying?”)

—And something sobbing about JUST HOW MUCH I AM CARRYING, too many things, not just any one thing —

—There is a huge transition with my handicapped step-daughter, trying to move her out of our home and into her own apartment, with 24-hour supervision paid by the government. She has turned 18. Let me stop and “sense into” this one –

— (sobbing here) —she is so needy, and her neediness is increasing during this transition — “Mom, who will get your Christmas ornaments when you die? Who will get your money? Can I have this? Can I have that to take with me? I’ve got to buy this and that and this and that—” (just letting myself feel “this whole thing” about M., her needs, her endless anxiety, these last few weeks, when we are exhausted already, perhaps escalating in difficulty —-

“YES,” MY WHOLE BODY SAYS, “YES, THAT IS IT!” THERE IS A “FELT SHIFT” IN THIS ANXIETY, SOME WORDS FOR IT. YES, THIS IS A BIG PART OF IT: ANXIETY ABOUT M.’S TRANSITION.

So I am just going to sit with this a little while here,”sensing into” it — Yes, I just need to acknowledge that her needs are going to consume this holiday time, and I need to remind myself that this should be the end of it, in terms of her moving out of our responsibility and to the care-giving agency (except the meeting guaranteeing state financial aid has not happened, but I must trust the agency will get this covered —) Big sigh

That is actually quite relieving of the anxiety. I am laughing and telling myself, “Kathy, plan to have your own holiday after Jan. 1, because it is not going to happen now!”

THAT IS A BIG FELT SHIFT IN THE ANXIETY. THAT IS THE MAGIC OF INTUITIVE FOCUSING — FINDING WORDS FOR EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT IS GOING ON INSIDE.

Another big breath, big sigh of tension release. The words are not particularly cheery, but way better than free-floating anxiety!

Back to “clearing a space.” I ask myself, “Is there anything else on my list of issues I am carrying in my body?” (stopping to “sense in” quietly)

—Well, the continuing saga with my son’s divorce/custody dragging on and on, and not being sure the law office is really on top of it — and any inquiry costing me much money, so — not enough reassurance that they are on top of it. Maybe I will call and say, “Please respond in some way, I’ll pay the $10-20, just to be sure you are on top of this. Tell me what the delay is.You could be on vacation for all I know!”

Going to stop here! Have to go do some things and let this “shift” about M’s needs being overwhelming during this time, and just be aware of that, not constantly surprised!

NEXT DAY: NEW ACTION STEPS AND SOLUTIONS ARISE, ANXIETY IS GONE

I slept well, woke to find myself automatically re-ordering my priorities. I found ways to decrease work-related demands over the holidays. I spent the day cleaning my house and arranging table settings for my step-daughter’s graduation party tomorrow night.

Then, I took her “hope chest” of apartment-related items out of her crowded room and spread them out under her Christmas tree. Suddenly, it had become “all right” to allow her and her needs to be the “center of attention.” Intuitive Focusing had not only relieved my anxiety but also allowed new possibilities and solutions to arise.

You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

health, Intuitive Focusing | anxiety, breathing exercise, Clearing A Space, depression, Empathic Listening, Focusing, Focusing Classes, free-floating anxiety, Gendlin, holiday stress reduction, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, overwhelm, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, Serenity, stress reduction, support groups

INTUITIVE FOCUSING: “WHY PRACTICE FOCUSING?”

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, December 11, 2008 2:33 pm

Free Downloads:

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Why Practice Intuitive Focusing?

In answering this question, freshly, for today, even after thirty years of practicing Focusing, I am going to do Intuitive Focusing!

Instead of answering the question from my “head,” the “already-known,” I am going to pause, close my eyes, pay attention to my breathing for a while to come in touch with my body, then, turning my attention toward the center of my body, around my solar plexis/heart area.

I am going to wait, for a LONG, LONG minute or more, for the “intuitive feel,” the “whole body-sensing” to form in response to the question.

Only when I can feel this thickening of vague, preverbal “intuitive knowledge” forming, then I will begin to look for words or an image that begin to “fit,” to capture this whole-body sensing in response to the question. I will go back and forth, “checking and resonating” any words or images that come against the “bodily feel” until something “shifts” — by body, through a small or large release of tension, says “Yes, that fits. You are on the right track” or “Ahah! That is exactly it.”

So, here I go: “Why practice Focusing?” (long pause for “felt sensing”) —

— And, already, my body says, “Change the question. Make it more personal. This is too intellectual, makes you answer from your head” — So, the new question: “Why do I practice Focusing?” And, again, I pause, waiting for the “intuitive feel” to form, before looking for words/images to express it — (long pause, eyes closed, paying attention to solar plexis — diaphragm — area ) —

Big sigh (already tension release!) — I practice Intuitive Focusing because I am a “kinesthetic” person — so, now, I pause to look for the “intuitive feel” of those words TO ME :”What do I mean by ‘kinesthetic person’?” —-

I mean that I take things in through my body. I live very close to my body’s experience. So, throughout the day (and often in the night!), it is as if I am “hit by” experiences — I have a bodily response, notice my body responding (getting anxious or shut down or overwhelmed or excited or sad or happy or confused —) AND THEN NEED TO USE INTUITIVE FOCUSING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON.

(pausing to “check inside” again, let my words come freshly from my “present felt experiencing,” my “intuitive feel” right now, not what I have always known and said before —-) Big sigh. (pause for “felt sensing” and then finding fresh words) —

Before I knew Focusing, and, now, when I don’t stop and pause to use it, I was simply “run around” by my “feelings,” by my bodily responses to situations, thoughts, etc. I felt sad/depressed, I would stay in my bed. I felt happy, elated, I would pursue whatever made me feel that way. I fell in love, I went with those feelings without question. I felt anxious, I suffered sleeplessness. I felt confused, I ran around like a “chicken with its head cut off.”

In the midst of one of these emotional crises, I met Eugene Gendlin and his Experiential Focusing technique (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984, 2007. Order at The Focusing Institute Website Store). NOW I have something I can do other than just run around, “following my feelings.” I can stop, pause, go quietly inside, and ASK MY BODY, “What is this all about?”, wait quietly for a minute or more for the “felt sense,” the “intuitive feel” to form in response, then carefully go back-and-forth until I find words/images/gestures that are “just right,” and the “whole thing” releases and shifts.

You can learn all about Focusing at The Focusing Institute, www.focusing.org as well as at Creative Edge Focusing, www.cefocusing.com . You can read many free articles by Gendlin in the online library at www.focusing.org/gendlin .

(so I am pausing to “sense into” “What do I mean by this ‘shift’? What is the positive point of Focusing?”) —- (pause for “felt sensing,” checking with the “intuitive feel” —)

Well, we call it going from “sheer emotion,” those reactive, emotional “responses,” to finding the “felt meaning” under the emotional response. The “felt meaning” holds within it everything about the situation, past, present, and implicit future. Finding words/images for the “felt meaning” lets you know WHAT THIS WHOLE THING IS ABOUT. And, then, instead of just running around reacting, you can choose action steps that will really change the situation.

You can try out Intuitive Focusing here, at Instant “Ahah” #1: Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Intuitive Focusing | anxiety, breathing exercise, depression, Empathic Listening, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Gendlin, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, stress reduction, support groups

PRE-FOCUSING PRACTICE: RELAXATION EXERCISE — COUNTING MEDITATION

Comments (1)

By Kathy McGuire, December 8, 2008 10:51 pm

Free Downloads:

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

From Creative Edge Focusing: This month’s Relaxation Exercise : COUNTING MEDITATION

Week One —“Ahhhhh….pause with me for ten minutes….and just relax!!! I will send a relaxation exercise each week as a reminder to pause…

Relaxation, Guided Imagery, and meditation exercises are all ways of going inside to “clear a space” for a longer Intuitive Focusing problem solving session. So, in Pre-Focusing Practice, you are learning these first steps of Intuitive Focusing. But all these relaxation exercises can be used alone as well, to give you a healthy break from stress any time.

Some people find it easy to drop all their stress and enter into an interior Focusing space. But, many people need easy first steps of practice for “going quietly inside.” And even experienced Focusers get caught up in stress and business and welcome a reminder to take a moment to….pause…..(sigh!)…pay attention to their breathing…….(ahhhhhh!)……and…relax.
The quiet time between instructions is an important time for just breathing—and relaxing.

You can lie on the floor or, for most exercises, sit in a chair. If you fall asleep, it’s okay! Means you need more rest! But you may also want to practice sitting up to avoid sleeping.

Especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses and enjoy relaxing in the imagery. You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!!

Any of the Relaxation Exercises can be used at the beginning of a longer Focusing session, as a way of “clearing a space” inside, so notice which are your favorites you could call upon.

COUNTING MEDITATION

Our first Relaxation exercise #1 was Noticing. Then, in exercise #2 we did Guided Imagery At The Beach, then exercise #3, Guided Imagery in The Forest. Now, with Exercise #4 (p. 6 in the Free Download Complete Focusing Instructions, link at top of page), we go back to a meditation more like Noticing:

Counting Meditation-Allow 10-15 minutes

Here is a simple form of meditation, a way of quieting your mind from its continuous racing—You will learn to discipline yourself to pay attention to counting and breathing, setting aside any thoughts that distract you.

This is not as simple as it sounds! Time and again, you will find that you have forgotten about counting and breathing and allowed your mind to return to its habitual ways of worrying. But the learning is in the trying. If you drift away, simply notice this and return to counting and breathing.

—Lie down or sit down and make yourself comfortable—loosen any clothing that is too tight—
1 minute
—Stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax—10 seconds

—Begin by simply notice your breathing—do not try to force it—just notice the breath going in—and out—in—and out—in—and out—10 seconds

—Now, you are going to count from one to seven along with your breathing. Count each time you exhale. So, inhale, then, as you exhale, count “1” to yourself—inhale, and, as you exhale, count “2”—inhale, and, as you exhale, count “3”—and so on, until you reach “7”.
30 seconds
—When you reach “7,” just start over again, with inhale, then count “1” on the exhale— and continue up to “7.”
30 seconds
—You will find again and again that you have lost track of your counting and drifted off into random thoughts. Don’t punish yourself or get upset with yourself. Just notice and return to watching your breathing, and counting.
1 minute
— Continue repeating as long as you wish, noticing when your thoughts stray and just bringing yourself gently back to counting, from “1” to “7”, over and again—
5-10 minutes
—And, when you are, ready, slowly come back into the room.

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

relaxation exercises | anxiety, breathing exercise, depression, Empathic Listening, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Gendlin, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, stress reduction, support groups

FOCUSING: “CLEARING A SPACE” TO PREPARE FOR INTUITIVE FOCUSING

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, December 1, 2008 4:07 pm

Free Downloads:

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Creative Edge Focusing E-Course

The purpose: Help you incorporate Focused Listening and Intuitive Focusing into your everyday life, at home and at work. Each month we practice one Instant “Ahah!”, one Pre-Focusing: Getting A Felt Sense exercise, and one Complete Focusing exercise (see Free Downloads above). You can subscribe to this thrice-weekly e-course here.

Intuitive Focusing is a process of going quietly inside and paying attention to the “felt sense,” the right-brain “intuitive feel” that is “more-than-words,” then carefully finding words/images for this Creative Edge until there is an “Ahah!” experience inside. However, it can be hard to find the “intuitive feel” when your body is clogged up, confused, overwhelmed, shut down by a crowd of issues and concerns. “Clearing A Space” is a first-step exercise for simply naming each issue and setting it “outside” of oneself — Ahhhh! Immediate tension release just from naming! Then, later, you can choose to bring one issue back inside for Intuitive Focusing Problem Solving. Below you will find the “Clearing A Space” exercise for Instant Serenity.

Newcomers, you can catch up on this cycle with Clearing A Space Week One and Clearing A Space, Illness, and “I’m okay!” Week Two. “Clearing A Space” can stand on its own, allowing “Instant Serenity,” or can be used as the first step in a longer Intuitive Focusing Turn.

Kathy’s Experience With Clearing Before Focusing Turn
(reported to Creative Edge e-support group)

“I was having a Focusing Partnership turn, and, knowing I was carrying a jumble of issues, I started by “clearing a space,” as I often do at the beginning of a Focusing turn. I was already thinking about five or six things, not knowing which or if any really needed my Focusing attention.

So I started, telling my Listener, that “my plate is full, and I want to sort that out, just naming each thing.” So, I sat quietly for a moment, noticing inside, and the first issue came up:

“Anxiety about my sex, food, and focusing blog. Is it too forward? Too exposing?” So I sat with that anxiety for a moment, noticing where it was physically, then said, “Okay, I want to pick up that plate and set it out on the table before me.” Big sigh. I experienced it then and experience it again as I describe this. Ahhhhh!

Paying attention quietly again, the next issue came up:

“Anxiety about a work group, can it survive all this chaos or will it be too much.” And I sensed into the physical location of that anxiety. Then, again, I said, “Now, I want to lift that full plate and set it outside.” Ahhhhh!

And so it went through three more major issues, each “an anxiety.”

Then, I said, “Oh, I guess the background feeling running through everything is ‘anxiety.’ Maybe I need to pay attention to that. And I did so, and spent some Focusing time, receiving Focused Listening from my Listener, as I explored the overall ‘anxiety,’ hoping it would shift some.

And that is how “clearing a space” led me into a longer, deeper Focusing turn.”

Newcomers, Print and Practice!!!!!

This is your Getting A Felt Sense exercise for this four weeks. Print it out, keep it handy, and try it whenever you have time…I will also send a “reminder” copy by email every week…YOU CAN TRY IT IMMEDIATELY WHEN THE EMAIL COMES! a MOMENT TO RELAX AND CHECK INSIDE!

Pre-Focusing Practice B. Getting A Felt Sense #3: “Clearing A Space”
(from Complete Focusing Instructions) Week Three of four weeks of practice

Intuitive Focusing is a back-and-forth between words/images and the larger “intuitive feel,” the “bodily-felt sense” of an issue. In Clearing A Space, you are just noticing all the different issues that you are carrying, getting the “felt sense” of each, then setting that “whole thing” outside of yourself. Ahhhh! Big sigh of tension release as you do this. At the end of the “inventory,” you’ll find yourself saying, “Well, except for all that, I am perfectly okay.” You can spend minutes just being in this place of “okay,” which reduces stress but also can have a spiritual dimension of “being connected to Something More.”

Remember, especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses. You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!! And it is exactly in the PAUSE that the Creative Edge comes.
Allow 20 minutes
—Lie down or sit in a way that’s comfortable for you—if you tend to fall asleep, you might vary your posture to reduce those cues—loosen any clothing that is too tight—
1 minute
—Spend a few moments just noticing your breathing—noticing your breath going in—and out—
1 minute
—Now, ask yourself, “What’s between me and feeling perfectly all right?” and wait and see what issue rises to consciousness: ” Well, there is that whole thing about—‘money’—or ‘my relationship’ or ‘my son’ or ‘that work issue’—”
1 minute
—Spend a moment with this issue, noticing how you carry it in your body—10 seconds

—Is there a tension in your neck?—Or butterflies in your stomach?—Or a clenched jaw? —Or furrows in your forehead?——See if you can find a physical manifestation of this issue as a tension in your body—10 seconds

—Now, ask your self, “What is the “intuitive feel” of this thing?”—Look in the center of your body, inside the chest/heart area, for that right-brain “intuitive feel” that is more than words—not the tension itself, but the “felt sense” of “the whole thing 30 seconds

—Don’t try to go into the issue or try to solve the problem, just notice the “intuitive feel” of the whole thing—30 seconds

—Find some words or an image for the feeling or the “quality” of that whole thing—like “scared, “knotted,” “confusing,” “stretching,” “frustrated”—30 seconds

—Now, imagine that there is a counter or a table out in front of you and imagine that you are wrapping that “whole thing,” – the issue, the physical tension, and the intuitive feel-all of it, up like a parcel and setting it outside of yourself for a moment —you may experience a “sigh” of relief as you imagine lifting it and setting it outside——ahhhhhhh!!—10 seconds

—See if you can set “that whole thing” outside for a while—You can come back and solve it later—Right now, just see if your body can be free of it for a moment—30 seconds

—Now, ask again, “What else is in the way of feeling perfectly okay?” and see what issue arises next—30 seconds

—Again, just name it—10 seconds

—Notice if there is a physical location for the tension of it—10 seconds

—Get the “intuitive feel” of the “whole thing, before words, in the center of your body—30 seconds

—Find a word or an image that captures the quality of that whole thing—30 seconds

—And imagine wrapping “that whole thing” up and setting it out on the counter for a while—30 seconds—

—Continue in this way until all the issues have been named and set outside-
3-5 minutes

—Now, check to see if there is any background feeling still inside—a basic feeling tone that is always present—30 seconds

—If you find such a thing, again, notice it, find a word or image that captures the quality of it, and try to wrap it up and set it outside for a while—
1 minute
—Now, you might want to take an inventory of all the positive things in your life at this point, in the same way, naming each— getting the feel of it— finding some words or an image—and then wrapping it up and setting it on the table
3 minutes
—Now, just enjoy the experience of the “cleared space” in your body—
1 minute
—Sometimes, people experience a state of spiritual Oneness at this point—If that happens to you, just savor it—
1 minute
—You might want to create some words or an image for this good feeling state, so that you can come back here whenever you want—
1 minute
—If you were going to continue with Focusing at this point, you would choose one issue, bring it back into the center of your body, and ask “What’s this all about?” and proceed in a Focusing way

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Intuitive Focusing | anxiety, breathing exercise, Clearing A Space, depression, Empathic Listening, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Gendlin, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, Serenity, stress reduction, support groups

FOCUSING: RELAXATION GUIDED IMAGERY THE FOREST

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, November 29, 2008 3:19 pm

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Relaxation Guided Imagery Exercises are a first step in “clearing a space inside” for the problem solving process called Intuitive Focusing. They can also stand on their on as a predictable method for putting down the burden of stress for some moments of true relaxation.

Kathy’s Experience: Real Raindrops Lead To Relaxation

“I went out on my deck this evening, in the dark. Steady rain pouring, pattering on the leaves. I decided to do The Forest guided imagery, sitting there in my real forest, with my real deer.

Listening to the rain pattering was so peaceful. Whenever I found my thoughts had drifted into worries, angers of the day, I brought my attention back to just listening to the raindrops, imagining the forest.

The image came of me lying in the grass, rain pattering upon me, me dissolving into the landscape, into the rain. How peaceful.

Theoretically, every moment of this peace in the midst of stress is life-giving, the “relaxation response” a reprieve for the body from carrying toxic stress.

From Creative Edge Focusing: This month’s Relaxation Exercise :

Week Three —“Ahhhhh….pause with me for ten minutes….and just relax!!! I will send this exercise each week as a reminder to pause…

Some people find it easy to drop all their stress and enter into an interior Focusing space. But, many people need easy first steps of practice for “going quietly inside.” And even experienced Focusers get caught up in stress and business and welcome a reminder to take a moment to….pause…..(sigh!)…pay attention to their breathing…….(ahhhhhh!)……and…relax…

The quiet time between instructions is an important time for just breathing—and relaxing.

You can lie on the floor or, for most exercises, sit in a chair. If you fall asleep, it’s okay! Means you need more rest! But you may also want to practice sitting up to avoid sleeping.

Especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses and enjoy relaxing in the imagery. You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!!

Any of the Relaxation Exercises can be used at the beginning of a longer Focusing session, as a way of “clearing a space” inside, so notice which are your favorites you could call upon.

Guided Imagery: The Forest-Allow 10-15 minutes

These four weeks, we are doing our Relaxation Exercise in the guided imagery of The Forest. A change from The Beach, we will sink into the soft pine needles, listen to the bubbling brook and the scurrying animals. Find the complete exercise here

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

relaxation exercises | anxiety, breathing exercise, depression, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Focusing en espanol, Gendlin, guided imagery, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, stress reduction, support groups

THANKSGIVING GOBBLER SONG: SILLY YOUTUBE SONG TO SHARE!

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, November 27, 2008 2:35 pm

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“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

And, here out of pure silliness, is the perfect Thanksgiving virus song, The Gobble Song, to share with all your family and friends this holiday. Join the over 500,000 people already singing it! You will not be able to get it out of your head.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-jW1vWgogLQ

Now, if you want to get serious, see today’s blog on Thanksgiving, 12-Step and Recovery Focusing

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Best of Everything | 12-Step, anxiety, breathing exercise, depression, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Focusing en espanol, Gendlin, guided imagery, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, Recovery Focusing, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, sobriety, stress reduction, support groups, Thanksgiving

FOCUSING AND PERSONAL GROWTH AND 12-STEP RECOVERY: A THANKSGIVING POEM

Comments (1)

By Kathy McGuire, November 27, 2008 11:52 am

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Below find a link to a beautiful poem, with artwork, of Thanksgiving for the self-knowledge that comes when we use Intuitive Focusing , and the PRISMS/S Focusing Process, for the kind of gentle Personal Growth that comes from self-reflection, the light of the moon.

http://www.innerwisdoms.com/id16.html

Find more poems, artwork, and the Recovery Focusing model for getting through the holidays with 12-Step Sobriety and self-awareness at
~~~~~*~~~~~
Suzanne L. Noël, CFT
Insight & Recovery Focusing
http://www.innerwisdoms.com

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Intuitive Focusing | 12-Step, anxiety, breathing exercise, depression, Focusing, Focusing Classes, Focusing en espanol, Gendlin, guided imagery, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, meditation, Recovery Focusing, relaxation exercise, self-help skills, sobriety, stress reduction, support groups, Thanksgiving

FOCUSING AND DREAM WORK: NIGHTMARES ARE HELPFUL, BALANCING

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

By Kathy McGuire, November 27, 2008 11:40 am

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Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

Using Gendlin’s “bias control,” looking at dream images from opposite-to-usual-ego way (Eugene Gendlin, Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams, available in bookstore at www.focusing.org ), we can see that nightmares, so frightening to the Ego, our usual way of looking at things, are actually a loud and clear message from “the rest of us,” the intuitive, implicit body-knowledge meant to try to offer some balancing information.

Here is a nightmare I had recently, and its “message”:

“My husband, with his boots on, is working in a small ditch. I step in to help him, then realize there is water in the ditch. It is filled with algae. I become completely terrified as I fall down and start struggling, sure I am going to drown, and hating being in this murky, germ-filled, algae-filled water. I am screaming and screaming desperately, “Get me out of here! Get me out of here!” and wake up in heart-stopping anxiety and terror. A true nightmare for my usual-way-of-looking. Nothing worse than falling into that murky pool.”

But let’s look from another perspective, for instance, the perspective of my husband in the dream. First of all, he has his boots on to keep his feet dry. He is prepared for standing in water. Also, seeing me struggling and terrified, he is perfectly aware that the water is way too shallow for me to drown in. And the algae — well, it is just a kind of life, not poisonous in any way!

I look at the dream images through one way I have of understanding a difference between my husband and myself, in waking life. In our shared life-situation, as we try to help our son struggle through divorce/custody/job issues, I am overwhelmed with anxiety, sleepless, seeking every possible catastrophic outcome, every danger to be avoided. He sleeps well, functions well in his day job, “compartmentalizes,” as he calls it.

On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI — see Personality Tests ), he is ISTJ, me INFJ. We share Introversion and Judging (being organized). But he is Sensing Thinking (ST), I iNtuitive Feeling (NF). And it is this sixth sense, this Intuition, that, while having a positive side, also leads me to imagine every future possibility, positive and negative.

My husband, in his five-Senses way, lives comfortably in the “real-world,” the common, everyday world. He is not frightened about all of its implications. He is not worried about its germs, its algae. He is not afraid of drowning in its shallow ditches. It is me who is terrified of it.

And, so, the nightmare tries to send my consciousness an alternate message: “This reality, these daily life events, is only a shallow ditch. It is only algae, not poison. You will not drown in it.”

And, in my waking anxiety, I can keep bringing this dream image back to help me find balance.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director