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By Kathy McGuire, November 19, 2007 12:14 pm

Experiencing The Sacred

Predictable Access to Spiritual Experience

As with personal growth and creativity, spiritual experiences can also be reached more predictably through the conscious use of Intuitive Focusing. If you “accidently” find yourself in the midst of a transformative, spiritual moment, you can enrich and enlarge that opening by consciously turning attention toward the “feel of it all” and making words and images for the power and meaning of it.

These words and images can then stay with you after that magical moment ends. You can use them as a predictable road back to that spiritual experience, again by consciously turning your attention to them, and the intuitive feel which goes with them, using Intuitive Focusing. 

Using Intuitive Focusing, you can enrich your spiritual experience. Whether the initial intuitive sense of The Sacred is comes through nature or inspiring music or religious rituals in church or through watching the kindness of one person toward another, these spiritual experiences can be deepened through Intuitive Focusing. The existence of Something Greater or Something More will be fully and unquestionably known, experientially, rather than being only an intellectual theory.

Being Touched and Being Moved

Dr. McGuire calls it “being touched and being moved.” Experiencing The Sacred is often marked by at least a sheen of tears in the eyes, along with an expansive feeling of one’s own boundaries and limits dissolving for at least a moment of merging into a feeling of Oneness – with nature, with another person or other people, with music, or with the religious ritual in church.

Biospirituality

Jesuit Fathers Pete Campbell and Ed McMahon (Bio-Spirituality: Focusing As A Way To Grow, 1985) have made a life’s work out of looking at the specifically spiritual aspect which can be present in any use of  Intuitive Focusing. They see entering the bodily “felt sense” through Focusing as a way of entering into The Body of Christ from the Christian perspective and also into the common ground of all spiritual experience. They call their approach Bio-spirituality (www.biospiritual.org ).

In any Focusing process, the Focuser will often experience a Felt Shift or Paradigm Shift, an opening of tension release into forward movement and new energy. Fathers Pete and Ed tell us to pay more attention to the “bodily-feel” surrounding these felt shifts in experiencing. They show us that, if we attend fully to the feelings surrounding the felt shift, we will find experiences of gratitude, of awe, of being “graced” by the presence of the Almighty.

While they started with Christianity, the Fathers now see Focusing as an access path to the Experience of the Sacred which underlies all religions. They elaborate upon Gendlin’s sixth step of Focusing, called Receiving: thanking and acknowledging your Body’s Wisdom for the new steps of healing that have emerged through Focusing and taking the further step of noticing the presence of grace and awe and thanking the Greater Source from which felt shifts, and spiritual and emotional growth, emerge.

Empathy and Agape: The Creation of Love

Intense spiritual experiences of the love known as Agape also happen regularly through the experience of exchanging Listening/Focusing turns in a Focusing Partnership or Focusing Community. Through the use of Focused Listening, I am able to set aside my own stereotypes and prejudices and really enter into the world of the other person.  In these moments of empathy, when the Focuser touches upon her deepest values and most profound truths, as the Listener, I am often moved and touched by the absolute uniqueness, yet universal humanness, of the Other.
 
In these moments, often with a sheen of tears in our eyes, it seems that the boundaries separating one person from the other drop, and we stand together in a shared, sacred space. I believe this is what is meant by experiencing The Christ Within The Other or Universal Oneness or Martin Buber’s description of “I-Thou” vs. “I-It” relationships. For me, there is no more sacred experience.

Read more about Focusing and Spirituality in Interest Area: Experiencing The Sacred

Download my articles:

 Focusing and Spirituality: The Still, Small Voice

 Being Touched And Being Moved: The Spiritual Value of Tears

 Finding The Meaning Of Tears          

If you haven’t yet, download our Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual   (Ajas Instantaneos  ) so you can try “Ahah!” #10, Spirituality: Being Touched and Being Moved and nine other exercises for integrating Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening into your every day home and work life.

In the sidebars at Creative Edge Focusing (TM)  , you can subscribe to our e-newsletter and e-support groups for ongoing support in applying Listening and Focusing  to every life situation.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)                       

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By Kathy McGuire, November 18, 2007 7:47 pm

Focusing On The Creative Edge

Sitting With The Unclear Edge

Intuitive Focusing applied to creative expression, is a methodical, predictable road to “Ah, hah!” experiences.  Gendlin’s Focusing (Bantam, 1981) is a step-wise procedure for paying attention to the murky, intuitive, whole-body “feel” of a creative project and going back-and-forth between this Creative Edge and words or images for describing it. When you hit on just the right words or image, you will experience that “Ah, hah!…Yes, that’s it. That is exactly the next step.” With continued rounds of Focusing, you can carry the creative project through many steps of problem-solving.
 
Focusing simply provides specific steps to encourage the “Ah, hah!” process which creative people have always accessed, usually accidentally. Fortunately, the “unconscious,” or the concretely available Creative Edge, “the intuitive body sense,” can carry more information, all at once, in that murky, wordless “feel,” than we can ever carry in our minds consciously. So, during Focusing, the creative problem-solver has access to “all of it,” “the whole thing,” more than could ever be recited consciously.

From Creative Block To Next Step

For example, a painter is stuck on what a particular painting needs next, right now. She can step back, take a look, and then, ask herself, “What does this painting need?” and, instead of answering from her head, the already-known, she can wait, as long as a minute or more, for the bodily-feel, the intuitive sense, the Creative Edge of “the whole thing, and what it needs now…” to arise as a murky, wordless “feel,” usually in the center of the body, between the throat and stomach…”What does it need?”…..and waiting, just paying attention to the intuitive feel….then carefully looking for words or an image or just the right gesture, the next painterly act, the next step toward “completion.”  Stuck again later? Just follow the same process, stepping back, sensing in, waiting for “the exactly right” next move to arise.

A writer is stuck in a novel: “What does this story need?….What does this character need?…..What happens next?” Again, the writer steps back, takes a moment to go quietly inside, perhaps with eyes closed, and sits with the creative question, setting aside any already-known guesses or solutions, and just waiting, for at least a minute, for the intuitive feel of the “whole thing…this whole question” to arise.  Then, just as carefully, he looks for words or images or metaphors that are exactly “right” in capturing the “feel of it all.”  And, then, “Ah, hah! That is exactly it.” Or, in writing even more than in painting, he can try out the body’s best guess, and, again, check with the body sense: “Is that it?”

Same thing for creative problem solving in a business, engineering, scientific research situation. When “stuck,” not knowing the answer in a left-brain way, the problem solver can simply pause for a moment, go quietly inside, and look for the Creative Edge, the “intuitive feel” for “this whole problem,” wait at least a minute for the intuitive feel to form, then use Intuitive Focusing to carefully find the exact words or images which ,”fit,” bringing that experience of “Ahah! That is exactly it!”

Predictable Creativity

By definition, creativity comes from the not-yet-known. Whether you are trying to find the next step in a piece of art work, a musical composition, writing, or a scientific, philosophical, or business project, you need a predictable, methodical method for having the kinds of “Ah, hah!” moments which otherwise come only when a new solution or idea bubbles up, unpredictably, from the backburner of your consciousness.

The great thing about Intuitive Focusing is that the answer, the next step, comes, not just intellectually, but experientially, as a whole-body response: “Yes. That’s it!” Throughout the Focusing process, the Focuser is constantly checking with the body-sense: “Is it this?    Is this right…?” and waiting for the body’s response. If the words or image or gestures don’t fit, the body response is flat. Nothing moves or changes.

But, when the symbols are just right, an exact “fit” for the whole-body-sensing, then, the body responds with a physically experienced sense of relaxation, tension-release, opening into a new, forward flow of energy. This is the true “Ah, hah!” experience, physically and viscerally felt, as distinct from all the ideas and possible solutions tried before. Gendlin called it a “felt shift.”  Dr. McGuire calls it a Paradigm Shift to emphasize that the kaleidoscope has turned, and everything is new.

And, another check point: the artist or painter or musician or problem-solver can try out the new “next step,” and see if it does fit, again checking with the intuitive sense as this new step is made manifest. Now, the art work, the creation, will “reflect back” to the creator, who can again sense in the body, The Creative Edge, “Is this it?” So the Focusing process, the back-and-forth between symbolizations and felt experience, can be carried on throughout the creative process.

Read more about Intuitive Focusing

Read about “Ahah!” experiences and Paradigm Shifts through the PRISMS/S Problem Solving Process  or PROCESO DE SOLUCION DE PROBLEMAS  PRISMAS/S.

Download  the Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual or Ajas Instantaneos so you can try “Ahah!” #9, Creativity: From Blocks To Predictable “Ahah!”s, p.29

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

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By Kathy McGuire, November 12, 2007 6:02 pm

Two Core Skills Applied In Seven Methods

Creative Edge Focusing ™ is unique in that it solves problems at every level, from individual to organizational, and at home as well as at work.

The  two Core Skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening , central to the PRISMS/S Problem Solving Process , are integrated into seven Applied Methods called The Creative Edge Pyramid :

Focusing Alone for Personal Growth
Focusing Partnership for Ongoing Creativity
Interpersonal Focusing for Conflict Resolution
Focusing Group/Team for Innovative Problem Solving
Collaborative Edge Decision Making for Win/Win  Meetings
Focusing Community To Facilitate Diversity and Mutual Support
Creative Edge Organization To Motivate People For Collaborative Action

Each method is free-standing, and can be learned independently, but, together, they create innovative organizations.

From Individuals To Organizations

The methods start with personal use of Intuitive Focusing and build to the integration of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening into interpersonal, group/team, community, and organizational interaction:

Read all about the seven applications in The Creative Edge Pyramid and find Case Studies of each application.

 Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

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By Kathy McGuire, November 10, 2007 6:03 pm

Focusing On the Creative Edge

Intuitive Focusing is one-half of the two Core Skills you are learning at Creative Edge Focusing (TM), www.cefocusing.com . Focusing can be used any time to find out what is bothering you. Focusing specializes in sitting with the vague, wordless intuitive sense that there is something….something you can’t quite put your finger on or put into words, but something definitely determining your behavior or how you feel or the inkling of an idea or solution……

Focusing can be used not just for personal problem-solving but for sitting with The Creative Edge of anything: a piece of creative art or writing, an exciting professional problem to solve, a good feeling that has a spiritual edge…

The Crux of Change

In the 1960’s research showed that the single most important variable in predicting success in psychotherapy was, not what the therapist was doing, but the client’s own ability to speak from present, felt experiencing rather than intellectualization. Eugene Gendlin decided we’d better learn how to teach that skill to people. He called it Focusing and broke it down into six steps for teaching it in a self-help way. His book, Focusing (Bantam, 1981), has been translated into over 15 languages and is used throughout the world. Focusing-Oriented Therapy incorporates Focusing into the psychotherapy process.

Description of Gendlin’s Six Step Focusing Process

First, I will describe Gendlin’s  process, then I will walk you through some actual instructions below. Here are Gendlin’s six steps for use of this inner, meditation-like problem-solving process in a self-help way:

1. Clearing a Space: setting aside the jumble of thoughts, opinions, and analysis we all carry in our minds, and making a clear, quiet space inside where something new can come.
2. Getting a Felt Sense: asking an open-ended question like “What is the feel of this whole thing (issue, situation, problem)?” and, instead of answering with one’s already-known analysis, waiting silently as long as a minute for the subtle, intuitive, “bodily feel” of “the whole thing” to form.
3. Finding a Handle: carefully looking for some words or an image that begin to capture the “feel of the whole thing,” the Felt Sense, The Creative Edge: “It’s ‘jumpy;’” “It’s scared;” “It’s like the dew of a Spring morning;” “It’s like macaroni and cheese – comforting,” “It’s like jet propulsion! Something new that needs to spring forth!”
4. Resonating and Checking: taking the Handle words or image and holding them against the Felt Sense, asking “Is this right? Is it ‘jumpy’?”, etc. Finding new words or images if needed until there is a sense of “fit” – “Yes, that’s it. Jumpy.”
5. Asking: asking open-ended questions (questions that don’t have a “Yes” or “No” or otherwise fixed  or “closed” answer) like “And what is so hard about that?” or “And why does that have me stuck?” or “What was so beautiful about that moment?” or “And how does this apply to everything else?” and, again, instead of answering with already-known analysis, waiting silently for the whole-body-sense, the Felt Sense, to arise.

At each Asking, the Focuser also goes back to steps (2), (3) and (4) as necessary, waiting for the Felt Sense to form,  finding Handle words, Resonating and Checking until there is a sense of “fit”: “Yes, that’s it.” This often physically-felt experience of tension release and easing in the body, this sense of having found the right words, is called a Felt Shift by Gendlin.

Dr. McGuire, calls it a Paradigm Shift. It can be a small step of “Yes, that’s it” or a larger unfolding, a huge insight, with many pieces of the puzzle suddenly falling into place, with a flow of new words and images and possible action steps. Sometimes there is also a flood of tears of acknowledgment and relief or the release of other pent-up emotions.

     6.  Receiving: at each new step, each Felt Shift,  taking a moment to sit with the new “intuitive feel,” simply acknowledging and appreciating your own inner knowing for this new insight. Then, you can start again at step (5), Asking another open-ended question, (“And what is so important about this?”; “And why did that have me stuck?”; “And where does my mother come into all of this?”, etc.). And, again, step (2), waiting for the Felt Sense to form, step (3) finding a Handle, step (4) Resonating and Checking until there is a Felt Shift, a sense of “That’s it.”

You can always use “Clearing a Space” from the FREE Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual as a first step of Focusing, especially if you have a difficult time relaxing, being able to feel your body from the inside. Clearing a Space is particularly handy if you walk around with your body like cement a lot of the time!! However, a formal Clearing a Space takes a good twenty minutes, just in itself.

However, there are less time-consuming ways to get ready to start Focusing, “clearing a space” through relaxation or imagery work. We’ll give one of those a try below. The CD in our Self-Help Package, Complete Focusing Instructions (or the free download, Complete Focusing Instructions), includes many exercises for relaxation and imagery work as a first step of Intuitive Focusing.

A First Attempt: Find Out What Is Bothering You

Set aside at least 30 minutes for this first attempt. Remember, Focusing is a skill usually taught in 10 two-hour classes or two weekend workshops —so, if it doesn’t work for you immediately, don’t give up! Find a nearby teacher from the Focusing Institute Listings or arrange for phone sessions with Dr. McGuire or another Creative Edge Consultant.

But, some people are natural Focusers and just say, “Oh, yes. I’ve been doing this all my life. Now, I can just do it better, more predictably, whenever I want. Give it a try:

(You can read the instructions below to yourself now or into a tape recorder for playback — or purchase the Self-Help Package with Focusing Instruction CD. Leave at least one minute of silence between each instruction)

Step One: Clearing A Space (Relaxation exercise in this case)

Okay…first, just get yourself comfortable…feel the weight of your body on the chair…loosen any clothing that is too tight….
(one minute…)

Spend a moment just noticing your breathing….don’t try to change it….just notice the breath going in….and out…..
(one minute…)

Now, notice where you have tension in your body (pause)…..
(one minute…)

Now, imagine the tension as a stream of water, draining out of your body through your fingertips and feet (Pause)….
(one minute…)

Let yourself travel inside of your body to a place of peace…..
(one minute…)

Step Two: Getting A Felt Sense

Now, bring to mind an incident or a situation that was troublesome for you this week (pause as long as necessary)…Think about it or get a mental image of it……
(one minute…)

Now, try to set aside all of your thoughts about the situation, and just try to bring back the feeling you had in that situation (pause)….not words, but the “intuitive feel” of yourself in that situation……
(one minute)

Step Three: Finding A Handle

Now, carefully try to find words or an image for that feeling……

Step Four: Resonating and Checking

Go carefully back and forth between any words and the “intuitive feel of the whole thing” until you find words or an image that are just right for it……..
(one minute…)

Step Five: Asking

Now, gently ask yourself, “What is so hard about this situation for me?”, and wait, at least a minute, to see what comes in your wordless intuition, your whole-body sense….

Again, carefully find words or an image that exactly fit that whole feeling…..going back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute…)

Now, imagine what the situation would be like if it were perfectly all right……
(one minute…)

Now, ask yourself, “What’s in the way of that?” and, again, don’t answer from your head, what you already know, but wait, as long as a minute, for something new to come in the center of your body, more like a wordless intuition or whole-body sense………
(one minute…)

Again, carefully find words or an image for that, “whatever is in the way”…..go back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute…)

Now, see if you can find some small step you might be able to take to move yourself in a positive direction….again, don’t answer from your head, the already known, but wait as much as a minute for the wordless, intuitive “feel,” the bodily felt sense of an answer to arise……..
(one minute…)

Take a moment, again, to carefully find words or an image for this possible next step…..go back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute…)

Check with your “intuitive feel,” “Is this right? Is this really something I could try doing?”…If your “intuitive feel” says, “Yes (some sense of release, relaxation), I could try that,” then you can stop here. If your “felt sense”  says “No, I can’t do that” or “That won’t work,” then ask yourself again, “What small step in the positive direction would work?”, again, waiting quietly, as much as a minute for an intuitive answer to arise, then making words or an image for it…….going back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute…)

Step Six: Receiving

Keep at this as long as you are comfortable, but, if no clear next step arises, just remind yourself that, at least you have gotten a clearer sense of the problem, and, because you have spent Focusing time with “the whole thing,” maybe later something new will pop up….
(one minute or more…)

Appreciate yourself and your body for taking time with this, trusting that taking time is the important thing — solutions can then arise later.
(one minute…)

Remember, Intuitive Focusing is often taught as a twenty-hour course, so don’t be discouraged if you didn’t experience a dramatic Paradigm Shift this first time. Work through the Mini-Manual and Complete Focusing Instructions downloads, with support and help from our e-newsletter and e-discussion list, order the Self-Help Package with manual, CD, and DVD, or purchase Focusing Coaching by phone.

Subscribe to e-newsletter for weekly reminders to practice relaxation, getting a “felt sense,” and Focusing and download the Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manaul (Ajas Instantaneos en espanol) of 10 everyday ways to add Listening and Focusing to your home and work:   

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/optin.jsp?&m=1101671080238&ea=

Join our e-support groups for hands-on practice of Listening and Focusing and receive The Complete Focusing Instructions manual in a return email from Yahoo Groups: http://www.cefocusing.com/focusingcontact.php

Work with Dr. McGuire through Coaching or Consulting: http://www.cefocusing.com/store/categories.php

Find a Focusing Class or Focusing Coach/Trainer world-wide in many languages: http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/index.php#listings_pros

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

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By Kathy McGuire, November 9, 2007 11:41 am

ESCUCHA PASIVA:   SOLAMENTE MANTENERSE EN SILENCIO, ¡NO INTERRUMPIR!     Esto va a ser extremadamente básico…y tal vez ¡extremadamente difícil!!!  Todo lo que Ud. va a hacer es intercambiar turnos de escucha pasiva con otras personas en lugar de discutir.  Estos turnos de escucha tienen que ser iguales y controlados por reloj.

     Puede resultar también, una intervención extremadamente poderosa y exitosa que Ud. puede hacer en sus relaciones con las personas, así que, inténtelo por favor.

     Mediante los Ajás Instantáneos del Mini Manual Gratis, nuestro paquete de Autoayuda o Consultas o Entrenamiento Telefónico, Ud. aprenderá otras destrezas poderosas de Escucha Focalizada que van más allá  de la escucha pasiva. Pero, por ahora, Ud. solamente va a practicar la escucha pasiva – estar en silencio, escuchando, sin interrumpir.  Intente imaginar ¡cómo sería este  mundo si tan sólo todos supieran esta simple destreza  de autoayuda!!!

Acuerdo sobre una Señal Durante un Momento de Paz

     Puede ser de gran ayuda el tener un acuerdo previo con la otra persona  para permitir intentar este proceso.  Invite a sus personas significativas a leer con Ud. estas instrucciones  cuando no haya una batalla de por medio – en un momento de paz, sin conflictos y vea si logran ponerse de  acuerdo para intentarlo.

     Seguidamente Ud. necesita estar de acuerdo con una señal que usarán cuando las papas quemen, cuando es el momento de intentar este procedimiento – alguna palabra, acción o simple gesto que uno puede  usar para detener la discusión y comenzar el nuevo proceso acordado.

     Así que Uds. dos necesitan estar de acuerdo en una palabra, gesto o  acción que será capaz de interrumpir la discusión y traer la atención de Uds – como “¡Turnos!”, ó “¡Sillas!”,  “¡Papas Fritas!” o cualquier otra cosa ridícula o algo que pueda interrumpir la intensa energía y recordar a ambos el acuerdo de intentar un TURNO DE ESCUCHA PASIVA

Marque el Tiempo y Tome Asiento

     Aquí tenemos todo lo que Ud. necesita hacer-  Consígase  un cronómetro o un reloj para tenerlo a la mano y póngalo para marcar cinco minutos.

     Tomen asiento en sillas o en el suelo, de frente, el uno al otro, pero a una distancia segura, cómoda. Comiencen entonces turnos ininterrumpidos, primero una persona habla sin interrupción hasta que se venza el tiempo; programe el cronómetro otra vez y cambien de lugar para que la otra persona hable sin interrupciones.

           USE EL CRONOMETRO PARA MANTENER LOS TIEMPOS EXACTAMENTE IGUALES.  NO SE PERMITE CONTACTO FISICO

Grite a una Pared en Blanco

     Si inicialmente hay mucha ira, puede ayudar el que cada persona vire hacia una pared en blanco y le grite, en lugar de hacerlo a la otra persona….Es mucho más fácil escuchar el sentido de la ira de una persona cuando esta no está siendo dirigida exactamente a Ud. paralizándolo.

     Mientras cada persona continúa tomando turnos, la bravata inicial seguirá su curso, y una parte más vulnerable, más creativa, más flexible aparecerá. Comenzarán a aparecer posibilidades y soluciones nuevas y creativas y hasta sentimientos cálidos hacia la otra persona.

Siga así

      Sigan intercambiando turnos iguales, controlados por reloj hasta que lleguen a algún lugar.  ¡Y lo harán!!!  Al escuchar simplemente lo que la otra persona tiene que decir, en lugar de discutir, Ud. comenzará a comprender nuevas razones para el comportamiento o la posición de la otra persona…y esto sucederá en ambas direcciones.

      Y el hablar simplemente, sin ser discutido o “corregido” le permite estar por encima de su reacción inicial y ver los significados más profundos de su respuesta al otro.

      Una clave: debajo de toda furia, casi siempre hay una herida muy vulnerable, hasta lágrimas -cuando éstas salen, es muy fácil amar a la  otra persona.  Debajo de una víctima indefensa-con lágrimas, a menudo hay furia.  Eso también, puede hacer que el comportamiento de la otra persona sea más comprensible

Precaución: ¿Necesita Ayuda Profesional?

     Precaución: Si ninguno de Uds. dos está de acuerdo en dejar de discutir y tomar TURNOS DE ESCUCHA PASIVA iguales como describimos anteriormente, entonces puede haber un problema más serio que necesita ser dirigido a un profesional ya sea entrenador o consejero.  Las personas no pueden permanecer iguales todo el tiempo, por lo tanto, puede  haber situaciones en las que se debe utilizar ayuda profesional. La Dra. McGuire le puede indicar como proceder.

Pero, nuevamente, imagínese  cómo sería el mundo si todos supieran esta simple destreza de “educación humana” y lo usara tan  automáticamente como el leer y escribir para neutralizar molestas situaciones donde la ira está presente.

Estos materiales son ofrecidos solamente como destrezas de autoayuda.  Al proveerlas, la Dra. McGuire no está comprometida en rendir servicios psicológicos, financieros, legales u otros.  Si se necesita la asistencia o consejo de un experto, deben buscarse los servicios de un profesional competente.

Translation kindly provided by Agnes Rodriguez, Certified Focusing Professional, who offers listening/focusing training for a reasonable cost in English and Spanish. Use the Contact form at http://www.cefocusing.com/contact.php to find Agnes’ email address. (Any mistakes in transcribing translation above are mine! Kathy)

Find more Spanish translations at http://www.cefocusing.com/freedownloads/index.php

Download the entire Ajas Instantaneous Mini-Manual at http://www.cefocusing.com/pdf/Mini_Manual_Ajas_Instantaneos.pdf

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

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By Kathy McGuire, November 8, 2007 4:27 pm

Please download the exercise from the sidebar at Creative Edge Focusing right now so you can read through. Consider whether, if everyone learned this simple structure for stopping arguments from birth, could we change the world? Here is how it begins:

“Passive Listening: Just Being Quiet, Not Interrupting!

     This is going to be extremely basic. And, maybe, extremely difficult!! All you are going to do is exchange equal, timed, passive listening turns with the other person, instead of arguing. Passive listening means you don’t say a thing, just let the other person speak without interruption.

     You are just going to practice Passive Listening – being quiet, listening, not interrupting. Try to imagine what the whole world could be like if everyone knew just this one, simple self-help skill!”

Stop for a moment to read the rest of the exercise from the download at http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/2a1c.php

Please add your comments below. Do you think this would work? Have you tried it with your partner, child, friend, co-worker? Do you think “passive listening turns” could save the world?

See also Active Listening: Short-circuit Confrontations at http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/2a1b.php

Focused Listening Instructions at http://www.cefocusing.com/coreconcepts/1a2.php

Positive Parenting: Listening To Yourself, Listening To Your Partner, Listening To Your Child at http://www.cefocusing.com/isthisyou/3a1d3.php

Further training through the Self-Help Package at http://www.cefocusing.com/services/5b1.php

or Classes/Workshops Internationally at http://www.cefocusing.com/services/5b2.php

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

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By Kathy McGuire, October 31, 2007 12:38 pm

Community: Core Creative Edge Focusing ™ Concepts

• Sharing from The Creative Edge creates feelings of empathy, a deep understanding of the validity of the other person’s unique point of view
• Sharing from The Creative Edge also creates feelings of connection, a deep understanding that, underneath our uniqueness, we share a common humanity
• The Focusing Partnership method creates a sense of community and shared humanity similar to the Greek concept of the love called Agape, the Christian love of The Christ Within each person, and the compassion of the Buddha for the Universal Oneness underlying everything
• This Agape is the glue which binds us into a human community, providing the motivation for overcoming conflict at all levels in society
• This creation of Agape, creation of love, can happen when the Focusing Partnership method is used for the purpose of building Focusing Groups/Teams  or Focusing Communities, or it can arise in Creative Edge Organizations as Focusing Groups/Teams do problem-solving toward a common goal
• Call it “buy-in,” “commitment,” “loyalty,” “full engagement,” but an essential by-product of shared creativity and collaboration is a sense of being deeply connected to other people and working toward a common goal
• The creation of Community has benefits for conflict resolution within interpersonal relationships but also within organizations and at the national and  international level      (See Creating At The Edge/Culture of Creativity at  http://www.cefocusing.com/coreconcepts/1a11.php for full underlying concepts of Creative Edge Focusing™ )

Building Supportive Community

The Building Supportive Community Project brings the Creative Edge Focusing ™  Model, with its two Core Skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, and seven Applied Methods of The Creative Edge Pyramid, into existing support groups and communities, as well as starting new Focusing Communities.

Some applications are 12-Step Groups, Support Groups, Community Mental Health , Religious and Spiritual Communities,  Hospitals , Prisons , Schools , Conflict Resolution, Participatory Democracy ,  and Collaborative Work Groups and Collectives. See (PDF file) Focusing and Twelve Step by Steve Crawford , http://www.cefocusing.com/pdf/2F2p_Experiential_Focusing_Twelve_Step_Recovery_Work_Steve_Crawford.pdf and  Recovery Focusing by Suzanne Noel at  http://www.cefocusing.com/pdf/3a1bNoelRECOVERY_FOCUSING_final_2.pdf for an integration of Gendlin’s Focusing theory and the 12-Steps.

Community means a felt-experience of interconnection and mutual support as well as the capacity to work together toward a common cause. In a community everyone can belong, respected for their uniqueness or their role but working toward the common good.  For community to work, people need ways to respect and to capitalize on differences and to resolve interpersonal conflicts.

Community can be built starting with people who initially come together for mutual emotional support, as in a support group. That experience of sharing can build outward into an actual community which can organize toward a common goal, for instance, advocacy.

Or, community can be built starting with people who initially come together to accomplish a shared goal, as in a grass-roots campaign or a non-profit or for-profit organization. The good feelings created through collaboration can end up having also created feelings of mutual care and supportive community.  

Dr. McGuire’s  manual, Focusing In Community: How To Start A Listening/Focusing Support Group (in Spanish, Focusing en Comunidad: Como Empezar un Grupo de Apoyo de Escocha Y Focusing)teaches the basic skills needed.  Audio and video tapes and phone sessions and workshops enhance this learning.  The Creative Edge e-discussion/support group connects you with other people throughout the world who belong to Focusing Communities (join from the sidebar at www.cefocusing.com .

The above is excerpted from Creative Edge Focusing’s website. Continue reading about Building Supportive Community in both Support Groups and Task-Oriented Groups at http://www.cefocusing.com/isthisyou/3a1b.php

You can also read the following articles:

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing TM

www.cefocusing.com

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By Kathy McGuire, October 30, 2007 10:24 am

Empowerment Organization: Motivating from the bottom up

Motivation = Engagement : Apathy Is The Enemy!

You are charged with finding that “one small thing” which will get every employee or volunteer or citizen fully engaged in your larger projects. No apathy allowed in a Creative Edge Organization! You want to become alert to noticing apathy, people at any level who are not caring, not involved, and then work at involvement. You want every person actively involved at The Creative Edge, the lively, creative, energized “intuitive feel” of being a living, thinking, involved  Co-Creator or Collaborator.

Finding “One Small Thing”

In the ongoing life of your Creative Edge community or organization, the weekly exchange of Listening/Focusing turns in Focusing Partnerships and  Focusing Groups or Teams will keep individuals involved at their own personal, unique Creative Edge. See Interest Area: Creative Edge Organization at http://www.cefocusing.com/isthisyou/3a1a.php for a full introduction to the model.  

However, in addition, or perhaps first or independently, you can use the “One Small Thing” method to find one over-arching project that will get everyone involved.

You want to find “One Small Thing” that every person in the community or organization can become involved in with minimal effort but maximum sense of satisfaction in contributing something to the larger mission.  If the first step of involvement is too big, too difficult, then most people won’t be willing to do it.

So, you have to keep looking until you find something so small that everyone can do it, easily, willingly, yet so important that it will feel like a real contribution, a first step of commitment to the larger cause. Then, you can invite these involved, engaged people into further Collaborative Decision Making about the project.

If your “One Small Thing” project is not having the desired effect, then the step is too big, requires too much motivation or commitment. If that is the case, then you need to look for a smaller step until you find the one that works.

Example One: Achieving Corporate Buy-In

At Old Navy (Business Week, June,19, 2006), Innovation Champion Ivy Ross, catching the MySpace-type lifestyle of today, used a facebook-style CD in an effort to bind old and new employees into one new group. Every employee filmed three minutes of “something so personal it would take years to discover it.” Ross had new and old employees hungrily viewing the CD. They quickly became bonded into one, new group, “infused…with a close tightness essential for innovation.” Ross had found the “One Small Thing.”

Example Two: Revitalizing the PTO at a public school

The PTO of a public school was languishing. A handful of parents wer doing all the work. A new property tax bill dramatically cut funding to the public schools, wiping out PE teachers, art, music, librarians, nurses….The parents suddenly had to raise a whole lot of money from a population of middle to low income parents.

The small group of committed parents started selling Grocery Store Gift Certificates. The PTO could purchase the “scrip” at a 5% discount, resell it to parents to use to buy groceries, and make a 5% profit on something parents had to buy anyway. Everyone had to buy groceries!  They sold “scrip” in the front hallway before school and at school events and PTO meetings.

Suddenly, everyone was buying “scrip” – grandparents, neighbors, as well as parents and teachers. People were coming into the school to purchase “scrip” and staying to paint walls or help with reading. The only people who were unhappy were parents who were on food stamps – they were furious that they couldn’t contribute!!!! The PTO had found the One Small Thing that allowed everyone to become involved.

Now, parents had a “stake” in how the money would be spent. Attendance at PTO meetings grew to thirty, making decisions about how to distribute the funds, how to enlarge the “scrip” program. Teachers came to present proposals for funding.

In the first year, the PTO raised $11,000 (at the 5% net profit, gross sales of $220,000!) to hire a part-time PE teacher who would teach the other teachers how to run PE classes. The “scrip” program spread to other public schools and, ten years later, a large banner in front of the town high school reads “Buy Grocery Scrip”.

But, more importantly, the entire school was revitalized.  The parents had to establish a “volunteer lounge” at the school to accommodate all the volunteers!

Hypothetical Example: Global Warming

You are Al Gore.  You want to get every day citizens involved in the issue of Global Warming. But most people feel apathetic: “Oh, there is nothing that one person can do…it is up to governments.”

Well, maybe it is up to governments…but non-apathetic, engaged citizens are the ones to put pressure on governments.  So, you are looking for that “one small thing.” “What is one small thing that masses of people would be willing to do and which would act as a first step toward full engagement?”

Here’s a possibility:  Purportedly, “idling” your car greatly increases the output of pollutants. Yet, everyone, without giving it a thought, “idles” at drive-up banks, fast food take-outs, school pick ups. What about a “Stop Idling! Stop Greenhouse Gases” campaign? With bumper stickers, flyers on car windows or handed out at drive-up locations….the double-entendre “Don’t idle and don’t be idle!”……

If you can get people, all over the world, to “Stop Idling!”, you will have them engaged in thinking about global warming every day…and primed to engage in other actions which you initiate.

Intuitive Focusing on “What is the One Small Thing?”

Your Turn

So, let’s use the Intuitive Focusing skill to find the “one small thing” to engage and motivate your target audience, be it consumers, citizens, volunteers, or employees. This could be the most important decision you make, so, one small session may not be enough, but it will start you thinking about Creative Edge engagement. It will put the pot on the burner so that creative insights can arise now or later.

You can do this first step alone, by yourself, but even more productively with the appropriate group of problem solvers, benefiting from the Creative Edge Collaborative Thinking of many people.

However, the best way to generate ideas for the “one small thing” is to initiate a Listening/Focusing Brainstorming process with the people at the bottom! We are not going to do that here, but it is essential to the process of motivating from the bottom up.

As a group or individually, sit down and get comfortable, preparing to spend up to  twenty minutes letting right- and left- brain problem solving interact. Add another twenty minutes for group sharing. Keep a blank pad of paper in front of each person for gathering ideas.

In a group, have one person read the following instructions aloud to everyone else. Everyone except the reader, close your eyes, focusing inward, on The Creative Edge…or, at least, look off “into space”. You want to access right-brain, intuitive thinking before you turn to more traditional “brainstorming” methods.

Upon hearing the instructions, pay attention, inside, looking for the “intuitive feel” of answers – not what is immediately, intellectually known, but the right-brain, intuitive, murky, vague feel of what you know that is “more than words”…..leave at least a minute of silence between each instruction….(read more and find the actual Focusing Instructions at http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/2a1f.php)

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (1)

By Kathy McGuire, October 28, 2007 2:42 pm

Translation by Agnes Rodriguez, Certified Focusing Professional and Creative Edge Focusing Associate. Agnes offers inexpensive phone sessions of Active (empathic listening) so you can try it out and learn how to do it. Go to http://www.cefocusing.com/contact.php  and look at bottom for email address to contact Agnes.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

http://www.cefocusing.com/

Comments (0)

By Kathy McGuire, October 25, 2007 2:47 pm

Reflect, Don’t React

Someone comes at you, seemingly out of the blue, absolutely furious. You are stunned and want to fight back. Instead, you can diffuse the other person’s anger by simply responding in an Active Listening way:

• “Wow, something is really upsetting you…”
•  “You’re saying you are absolutely furious that I forgot to show up for lunch”
•  “You are really upset because you are not getting the service you expected”
•  “You are really mad that you’ve had to go through four other departments just to reach me”
•  “It really bothers you when you have to go through all those mechanical phone responses just to get to a human being” 

Yes, this is the behavior which I wish customer service representatives had all been taught so that, when I call them, furious, they would just respond,” I’m sorry that you are so upset. Tell me more about what is bothering you so we can fix it,” instead of adopting that rigid, “I’m just following the rules,” “We never make mistakes,” “There’s really not anything I can do for you”  attitude that just makes me more and more angry!

Bottom Line: deflect and diffuse anger by simply responding with empathy: “Boy, I can see how this is hard for you,” “I’m really hearing how frustrating this has been for you.”

Reflect the Words…and the Feeling Tone…

As opposed to Passive Listening, where you simply give your silent attention to the other, at the most saying “Ummmhmmm” or “Ah, hah!” or “Wow!”, in Active Listening, you set aside all your typical responses (advice, argument, opinions, problem-solving, judgments) and simply try to say back what the other person is saying, with an emphasis on the feeling tone, if you pick up any:

Example One: Customer

Customer: “I’ve just had to wade through 16 phone messages to get to you, and I was cut off and had to start all over. It’s taken me ten minutes already.”
Customer Service: “ Wow! I’m so sorry! You’ve already been through ten minutes of frustration, and I’m the first person you’ve gotten to talk to.”
Customer: “Why can’t there just be a simple way to talk to a human being?!! I hate these phone messages!!”
Customer Service: “It is so frustrating to you to have to go through this waiting and confusion everywhere you go.”
Customer: “Damn right! Okay, let’s get on with it. This is the problem. I changed my mailing address for my bills, and they are still going to the wrong address, and then I end up getting late fees.”
Customer Service: “Okay, let me take a look at your account right now and see what we can do.”

Example Two: Spouse

Wife: “How could you have forgotten that we had a dinner engagement at 6PM with the Smiths???!!!!!!!!
Husband: “Wow! You are really angry. I must have slipped up somewhere. You’re saying I forgot a dinner engagement with the Smiths?”
Wife: “Yes, you idiot! It was at 6PM, and I’ve been trying to reach you on your cell phone. How humiliating!!!!! Where were you?!!!!!”
Husband: “So you’ve been trying to reach me ever since 6PM, and it’s been embarrassing for you, having to make excuses to the Smiths. And you’re wondering where I was.”
Wife: “How could you not answer your cell phone!!!! That is what they are for, emergencies like this one!!!!!
Husband: “So, to you, this really was an emergency, and no way to get through to me. You’re wondering why I didn’t answer my cell phone and where was I anyway!!!!!!”
Wife: “Yes, that is exactly right! So, where were you?”
Husband: “Okay, I am so sorry. Let’s try to figure out how this happened. I got held up at an emergency meeting with my boss, and I couldn’t answer my cell phone. He would have gotten even madder at me….I guess I was so upset by this confrontation with him that I just absolutely forgot about the Smiths…..I should have had the dinner in my Palm Pilot, but I guess I didn’t hear that either…I was just driving and thinking about what to do with the work situation. What can I do to make this better now? Do you want me to call the Smiths and make another plan?”
Wife: “Oh, that’s okay. It’s over now. Why don’t you tell me what happened at work while I find you something to eat….”

Example Three: Child

Child: “I hate school, and I’m never going again. Teachers are all idiots!!!!”
Parent: “Wow, something is really upsetting you today. Sounds like a teacher did something stupid that bothered you…”
Child: “No, it didn’t bother me!!!! I’m not going to get bothered by fools like that. I don’t care what they think!!!!! I’m just not going anymore!!!!!!”
Parent: “So, it didn’t bother you. You’re not going to be bothered by fools like that. You don’t even care what they think. And, right now, you’re saying you are never going again.”
Child: (tears of hurt coming) “She said I’ll never be a writer…that I don’t even know punctuation (crying).”
Parent: “So your teacher said, ‘You’ll never be a writer…you can’t even do punctuation,” and that is really hurting you. Writing is very important to you.’
Child: (more tears) “There is more to writing than punctuation….what I’m saying is way more important….I’m pouring my heart out.”
Parent: “So, for you, writing is not about punctuation but about what you are saying, that you can really pour your heart out. That’s what’s important.”
Child: “Yes (fewer tears)…that’s what matters to me. Next time, will you help me with the punctuation so that she can’t make fun of me?”

Believe it or not, this diffusion of anger, usually to hurt, will happen. And what have you got to lose by trying? There really isn’t any other miracle way in these situations!

Perhaps the idea of just “reflecting” the other person seems silly to you, like a parrot. However, when you are on the receiving end, just hearing your own words back without judgment or “fixing,” you will be amazed at what a rare blessing and relief it is just to be heard.

Learn The Focused Listening Skill

The Focused Listening Core Skill of PRISMS/S at Creative Edge Focusing (TM) is more than just reflecting.  You will learn many nuances:

• how to “ask for more” about words with “neon lights” around them,
• how to use Focusing Invitations to help the speaker sit quietly and “sense into” the “feel of it all,” facilitating a Paradigm Shift, and
• how, sometimes, you can offer your own Personal Sharings (advice, information, own similar experiences), as long as you go back to Active Listening, reflecting the impact of your words on the other person.

However, always, simple Active Listening, saying back, reflecting the words of the other, remains the core – the one, simple, most powerful thing you can do to increase communication with another person, while, at the same time, helping them to find their own solutions to their problems.

Learn more about Focused Listening at http://www.cefocusing.com/coreconcepts/1a2.php

Apply Active Listening as “Five-Minute Grieving,” when patient, friend or colleague starts crying: http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/2a1d.php

Try “Passive Listening Turns,” a simple turn-taking protocol to turn arguments with significant others into creative problem solving: http://www.cefocusing.com/freeresources/2a1c.php

See examples of  Interpersonal Focusing for conflict resolution: http://www.cefocusing.com/casestudies/6a3.php

Purchase the Self-Help package of Creative Edge Focusing (TM) to learn how to apply all of these skills in friendship, love relationships, support groups, and work teams: http://www.cefocusing.com/services/5b1.php

Find Certified Focusing Professionals offering Classes or Workshops in core Listening/Focusing skills World-Wide, in many languages at http://www.focusing.org/trainers_search.asp

Find Coaching, Classes and Workshops with Dr. McGuire and Creative Edge Associates at http://www.cefocusing.com/store/categories.php

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com