CE Focusing Blog

conflict resolution, relationships | conflict resolution, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, harmonious relationships, Interpersonal Focusing, interpersonal problem solving, Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication, peace making

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

COMPLETE FOCUSING EXERCISE: INTERPERSONAL SITUATION

By Kathy McGuire, February 17, 2008 5:55 pm

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

This is the beginning of a new four week cycle. For four weeks, we practice an actual exercise in three different categories: An Instant “Ahah!” to integrate into your every day life at work and at home, a Felt Sensing exercise to practice this step of Focusing, and a Complete Focusing Session. Actually doing the exercise which arrives in each e-newsletter insures that you can call upon these new skills when needed!
COMPLETE FOCUSING SESSION: SITTING WITH THE CREATIVE EDGE OF AN INTERPERSONAL SITUATION

Earlier this week you received Interpersonal Focusing : “This flower is beautiful To ME”, showing how owning our own reactions, instead of blaming them on the other, actually empowers us to begin to change interpersonal situations, and Interpersonal Felt Sensing Exercise, inviting you to find the bodily, “intuitive feel” of five unresolved interpersonal situations (that blog also contains links to downloads of Chapter Five: Interpersonal Focusing (Capitulo Cinco: El Proceso Interpersonal) from Dr. McGuire’s manual, Focusing In Community (Focusing en Comunidad).

In the Complete Focusing Session for each of the next four weeks, you will be invited to take one of these interpersonal situations and sense into, “sit with” it in a Focusing way, seeing what new information about yourself-in-this-situation can unfold.

Throughout the month, we will also explore methods for communicating and using Listening/Focusing turns with the actual other person as a way of resolving interpersonal conflict. The “felt sense” in each person in an interpersonal situation contains a Creative Edge which, when shared, can carry both problem solving and relationship forward.

But, in Complete Focusing, you are going more deeply into “owning” the personal dimension of the interaction for yourself, given the person that you are.

Focusing On A Specific Interpersonal Situation (20 minutes) Click the link to find the actual Complete Focusing exercise in our e-newsletter archive.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

Business, community building, conflict resolution, core skills, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, relationships, self-help skills | conflict resolution, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, harmonious relationships, Interpersonal Focusing, interpersonal problem solving, peace making

INTERPERSONAL FOCUSING: THE “INTUITIVE FEEL” OF CONFLICTS

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, February 12, 2008 6:18 pm

Download complete instructions on using Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening Turns to resolve interpersonal conflicts, turning conflict into creativity: Chapter Five: Interpersonal Focusing Capitulo Cinco El Proceso Interpersonal Order the complete Self-Help Package .

INTERPERSONAL FELT SENSING EXERCISE !!!!! (Read introductory philosophy “This flower is beautiful TO ME” )

Exercise: The “Felt Sense” of Various Interpersonal Situations

In the Complete Focusing exercise for these four weeks, we will do an Intuitive Focusing process with a variety of Interpersonal Situations, hoping to experience a “felt shift,” a true “paradigm shift” in our experiencing of ourselves and the Other in such situations.

But, for today, I’m asking you just to make a map, or a list, of unresolved Interpersonal Situations you are carrying and to try to find a bodily “felt sense,” the “intuitive feel” and a “handle” word or image which can help you go back to each of these Interpersonal Situations during later Complete Focusing Sessions. I’m suggesting that you take some notes for later reference, on The Specific Situation/Person, the “whole body feel” of being in that situation/with that person, and some words/images/gestures which capture “the feel of it all.”

Initially, we will work internally, using Felt Sensing and Complete Focusing to clarify the interpersonal dimension of situations for ourselves. As we proceed, we will also study and practice procedures for resolving such situations with the other person, if necessary. However, you will not be asked or forced to speak about any of your material to another person if you choose not to!!!! A lot of “resolution” can be done internally. Sharing Interpersonal Focusing with another is for the purpose of increased bonding and support for change. It is not required.

Felt Sense of Interpersonal Situations Exercise (at least 20 minutes) Find and practice the exercise, with five unresolved interpersonal situations at this e-newsletter archive link.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

Business, collaboration, community building, conflict resolution, core skills, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, relationships, self-help skills | conflict resolution, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, harmonious relationships, Interpersonal Focusing, interpersonal problem solving, peace making

INTERPERSONAL FOCUSING: THE CREATIVE EDGE OF CONFLICT

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By Kathy McGuire, February 11, 2008 5:15 pm

Honoring “Subjectivity”: “This flower is beautiful TO ME”

We tend to use pseudo- objectivity, pseudo-factualism, pseudo-logic to assert our view of the world over others, to “win” arguments: “Mine is the only, the right, the correct way of seeing. The way I see it is ‘the facts.'” This way of communicating either crushes The Other or makes them defensive. It does not encourage person-to-person communication and problem resolution.

Rollo May, a founder of the existentialist tradition in psychology and philosophy (May, R., Angel, E., and Ellenberger, H.F., Eds., Existence, p.63) states:

“Suzuki has remarked that in Eastern languages, such as Japanese, adjectives always include the implication of ‘for-me-ness.’ That is to say, ‘this flower is beautiful’ means ‘for me this flower is beautiful.'”

Self-Reflection Instead of Reaction: “Owning” Instead of “Blaming”

“You are a f_____b_____!” (to me)
“It’s not fair!” (from my point of view)
“You are hurting me!” (Something in me says “You are hurting me!”)
“I want to tear your eyes out!” (Something in me wants to tear your eyes out!)
“I am deeply offended by what you have done” (Being the kind of person I am, I am deeply offended by what you have done)

Just these little steps of self-ownership begin to locate our reactions to other people inside of ourselves, to turn them into “felt senses,” “intuitive feels” that we can work with in a Focusing way: “What is all of this TO ME?” “What is the feel of this interaction from the inside?” “How is it that this grabs me?” We can begin to become self-reflective rather than purely reactive, completely “controlled” by the other person and our situations.

Similarly , as a Focused Listener in an Interpersonal Focusing process, we can help the Focuser, the Speaker to “disidentify” from their projections upon The Other and to turn their attention, in an Intuitive Focusing way, toward the “feel of this interaction FOR ME,” the “felt sense” of how this situation is FOR ME.

The Focuser, the Speaker says “He did it on purpose. He is trying to control me!” The Listening Facilitator can reflect, “Something in you is saying, ‘He did it on purpose. He is trying to control me!’ Can you sense how that feels inside?” Or “Just say ‘Hello’ to that part of yourself.” Or “So the way you see it, he is doing it on purpose — Can you stop and sense into how that is for you?”

“Dis-identifying” From Our Reaction To The Other

Ann Weiser Cornell has eloquently defined the importance of “dis-identifying” ourselves from the many different “parts” or “aspects” of our felt-experiencing. In her model, as we stand in a neutral position of Presence, not identified with any of the warring inner “parties,” we are able to acknowledge, to say “Hello” to, to make space for each of these. And, as we do, we can become aware of the “intuitive feel,” the “bodily-felt sense,” The Creative Edge of deeper meaning called forth by each.

Similarly, we can use “dis-identification” in separating ourselves from our reactions to other people, finding the “felt sense” within ourselves of an interpersonal situation.

Self-Empowerment and Hope For Communication

This step from reactivity to self-reflection empowers us. Instead of being “hooked,” a puppet on the strings of our triggers, we regain the power to change our interpersonal situations: “What is this all about FOR ME?”

Does this mean other people can’t hurt you, can’t be doing something to hurt you or make you angry? No it does not. It is possible for people to hurt each other, for someone to act in such a way as to hurt or humiliate another person. However, even if this is somewhat the case, screaming with blame “You are_____! You did____!” is not going to reach the other person, allow you to communicate. Even if you are sure you are “in the right,” the best way to communicate with the other is from the position of “owning”: “Because of the kind of person I am, I saw you as trying to control me — I’d like to explore that feeling in me and share with you in that way.”

A favorite image: Two cats, their hackles up, caught on the brink of attack, each totally “hooked in” to reactivity toward the other. Instead of attacking, one lies down on its back, bares its throat to the other, a posture of peace-making. The other is then allowed to relax, and confrontation is avoided.

So, by beginning to look inside of ourselves for the wider “felt sensing,” the “intuitive feel” of our interactions with others, we become equipped with a tool that is not just self-empowering but has the capacity for peacemaking.

Throughout the month, we will explore a variety of methods for finding the “felt sense” in the midst of interpersonal situations and using it effectively, for self-empowering “felt shifts” as well as conflict-resolving communication.

Try out the first Interpersonal Focusing exercise: Felt Sense of Interpersonal Situations in our e-newsletter archive.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Business, community building, conflict resolution, core skills, Intuitive Focusing, relationships, self-help skills | conflict resolution, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, harmonious relationships, Interpersonal Focusing, interpersonal problem solving, peace making

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

COORDINATED COLLABORATION: THE BEST OF HIERARCHICAL AND CONSENSUAL METHODS OF DECISION MAKING

By Kathy McGuire, January 31, 2008 6:02 pm

COLLABORATION WITHIN HIERARCHICAL SITUATIONS

Here is how I introduce these topics in my article explaining the Collaborative Edge Decision Making method (Metodo de Toma de Decisiones del Borde de Colaboracion ) and, particularly, the Coordinated Collaboration component for allowing collaborative decision making within time-limited and hierarchical settings:

“COMBINING HIERARCHY AND COLLABORATION

Hierarchical and collaborative models of decision making both have strengths and weaknesses. Hierarchical models can breed apathy and alienation, and the absenteeism, low productivity, and carelessness which can result. Collaborative models can lead to an inability to reach conclusions and to carry out effective action and can degenerate into power struggles over leadership. The Collaborative Edge Decision Making Method combines the benefits of both collaboration and hierarchy:

1. Benefits of Collaboration

Collaboration, where people work together as equal colleagues toward a common goal, has the following benefits compared to strict, hierarchical, top-down decision making:

(a) The equal hearing of every viewpoint and the contribution of each person’s unique expert knowledge can lead to win/win decisions which are more inclusive and creative;

(b) Egalitarian expression of disagreement can address weaknesses, producing decisions that are objectively higher in quality;

(c) When participants have a say in decisions affecting them, even when they do not get all of what they want, they experience greater “ownership” of decisions and become more willing and motivated to carry the decisions out;

(d) Working together toward a common goal also produces feelings of friendship and collegiality which lead to greater enjoyment in working together and greater commitment to the group and the organization itself.

2. Benefits of Hierarchy

In most business settings, clear, hierarchical lines of authority and responsibility insure that:

(a) Decisions can be made within prescribed time limits;

(b) Specialized expertise of individuals can be utilized effectively;

(c) An overview of the entire organization’s objectives and projects can be developed by executives, in communication with any advisory Boards and shareholders. This overview can be communicated to managers, who can organize the efforts of work groups toward accomplishing these over-all objectives.

(d) “The buck stops here.” Clear lines of responsibility, and the accompanying power and authority needed to take responsibility, are established.

3. Coordinated Collaboration Component

In pure consensual decision making, a decision is not made until everyone in the group feels able to go along with it. At the very least, dissenting group members have to be willing to say, “I’m not willing to participate in the project that way, but it’s okay with me if you three want to carry it out, “or, “I think there’s a better way to be found, but I’m willing to go along as long as we review the outcome in a month” or some such qualified assent.

If someone is not able to agree in any way, it is assumed that the decision is flawed, some piece of information needed for problem-solving is missing, or not yet articulated, and the group will benefit from spending more time sitting with the decision until an acceptable solution arises. Committees can be formed to gather more information, and group members can spend time individually or in pairs using Intuitive Focusing to look for innovative solutions.

However, in many situations within an organization, decisions have to be made on a timetable and passed along to other collaborative teams or up the hierarchy. Using the Coordinated Collaboration approach of the Collaborative Edge Decision Making method, a Coordinator or Project Manager can set time limits for Collaborative Decision Making and be empowered to make final decisions when the time limits are up and take these to other levels. Coordinated Collaboration allows the benefits of collaboration within the time limits and structured responsibility of hierarchical organization, capitalizing upon the best of both models.”

Actual Steps of Coordinated Collaboration Procedure

Read on to discover the actual steps of the Coordinated Collaboration procedure.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

Business, collaboration, community building, conflict resolution, core skills, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | business meetings, collaboration, collaborative decision making, consensus, creative edge meetings, Creativity, Focused Listening, group process, hierarchy, innovation, Intuitive Focusing, negotiation, task-oriented meetings, win/win decision making

COMPLETE FOCUSING SESSION: “HOW AM I TODAY?” — NOTICING CRITICS AND CONFLICTS INSIDE

By Kathy McGuire, January 26, 2008 5:21 pm

Caring Feeling Presence Inside

This four weeks, while practicing a Complete Focusing Session, we are learning about turning a Caring Feeling Presence, the Focusing Attitude of friendly, curious, non-judgmental, gentle attention to whatever arises inside. We practiced finding Inner Nurturers and Inner Woundedness (Week 1), Reestablishing Trust With Exiled, “Unpleasant” Inner Aspects (Week 2), and Dealing With Critical Voices and Conflicts (Week 3).

Just Acknowledge Critical Voices, Say “I’ll be back later to spend time with you”

Today, when you practice the Complete Focusing Session #1: “How Am I Today?”, pay special attention to any Critical Voices which arise. In general, seeing a Critical Voice as an Inner Worrier or Inner Protector, you can simply notice it :” Okay, there is something saying ‘You’re no good at this; nothing is happening; Focusing is stupid” and, simply by noticing it, acknowledging it (saying “Hello,” Ann Weiser Cornell says), you can often just set it aside for the moment and go back to your steps of Focusing.

At a later point, you might go back to that Critical Voice as part of your Focusing process: “Okay, now I would like to spend some time with the part that says “This is ridiculous; you are failing like always,” etc., and ask yourself, “Okay, what is that all about?”, and wait for the “feel of that whole thing” to form, and continue with the Focusing Steps:looking for words, images, symbols that capture the “intuitive feel,” resonating and checking until you find symbols that are “just right” and experience a release, a small or large “felt shift” or “paradigm shift.”

Articulate “Conflicts” Into “Two Sides” and Spend Time With Each….(Read on here and find the Complete Focusing Instructions to practice )

Download Dr. McGuire’s article, Focusing Inner Child Work

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

conflict resolution, core skills, experiential focusing therapy, Intuitive Focusing, self-help skills, spirituality | biospiritual focusing, caring feeling presence, Critical Inner Voices, Empathy, focusing inner child work, Gendlin, Gendlin's Focusing, healing your aloneness, Inner Abusers, Inner Child healing, self-compassion, self-empathy, Self-Hate, self-healing, self-love, Voice Dialogue

FOCUSING: Dealing With Inner Critics, Inner Abusers

By Kathy McGuire, January 25, 2008 6:42 pm

DIFFERENT FORMS OF INNER CRITICAL VOICES AND DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO THEM

For this four weeks, we are working on perhaps the most essential aspect for successful Intuitive Focusing, creating a positive attitude, inside of yourself, for whatever might arise during a Focusing turn.This is The Focusing Attitude.In Week One, I talked about turning a Caring Feeling Presence toward your inner experiencing, finding an Inner Nurturer and an Inner Woundedness. In Week Two, I talked about establishing an inner, trusting relationship between “parts” of the Self that had perhaps been at war for years and didn’t really like each other.

Now, we take on Inner Critical Voices: recognizing them and dealing with them. These, too, will each have an “intuitive feel” to them, a “felt sense” holding a lot more information, if you can take time to separate out the various aspects and “sit with” the “intuitive feel,” the “felt sense,” the “something more” about each of them.

The Inner Abusive Relationship: “I Hate Myself, I’m So Stupid, I’m So Worthless”

Actually, we are going to start with the most difficult Inner Critical Voice, and that is the one you don’t recognize and you don’t have a “felt sense” for. When you are having the most negative feelings about yourself, you are actually suffering as the Victim of an Inner Abuser…only, instead of hearing the Inner Abuser saying, “You are hateful! You are so stupid! You are so worthless!,” you are saying these words to yourself: “I am hateful, I am so stupid, I am so worthless.”

So, here the first step is just separating out these two things. You need to begin to hear the voice of the Inner Abuser saying”You are so…!” and, separately, experience the “felt sense” of your Inner Victim — feeling afraid, beaten down, overpowered, overwhelmed. And, then, the Inner Victim, with the help of Inner and Outer Listeners/Nurturers/Anchors, needs to be able to stand up to the Inner Abuser and say, sometimes very strongly, “Shut up!”, “Go sit over there!” “I’m putting you behind this brick wall and locking the gate!” Or the Inner Nurturer can join with the Inner Victim and stand together, saying, “We are not going to let this go on!” or “I am not going to let you talk to her that way.”Read the rest of the Focusing approach to Inner Abusers and Inner Critics

Download Dr. McGuire’s article, Focusing Inner Child Work

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way

conflict resolution, core skills, experiential focusing therapy, Intuitive Focusing, self-help skills | biospiritual focusing, caring feeling presence, Critical Inner Voices, Empathy, focusing inner child work, Gendlin, Gendlin's Focusing, healing your aloneness, Inner Abusers, Inner Child healing, self-compassion, self-empathy, Self-Hate, self-healing, self-love, Voice Dialogue

COLLABORATIVE DECISION MAKING MEETINGS

Download Dr. McGuire’s article, “Collaborative Edge Decision Making with bonus group handouts in the Appendix.

By Kathy McGuire, January 24, 2008 5:27 pm

“CARING FEELING PRESENCE” AT WORK

As our “Felt Sensing” exercise these four weeks we are practicing turning a Caring Feeling Presence toward whatever arises inside during our Focusing and toward the Focuser when we are the Empathic (or Focused) Listener. What about turning a Caring Feeling Presence toward our co-workers at work?

Hmmm…do you have a reaction to seeing these words in the same line? Are “work” and “caring” incompatible?

Once I told my Business Professor husband that I was going to market what I teach to business people and that I was going to call it “Compassionate Awareness.” He shuddered: “Awareness, yes. Compassinate? No. Compassionate people do not make good competitors. Compassion is exposing weakness. Business people do not want this.” And, in trying to “market” Listening/Focusing to business, I have changed the name from Empathic (who in the workplace wants empathy!) Listening to Focused Listening.

However, now, because of changes in the business world demanding skills at team work and collaboration, my husband teaches the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (recognizing differing “gifts,” differing personality and leadership styles) and Listening and other conflict resolution skills to students working in groups in almost every class, on almost every project. He even has a procedure whereby team members can get “a divorce” from a non-participating member!

When the newly elected President of Chile was asked, “What are you going to do for Chile?” by a Newsweek reporter, she replied, “I’m going to create love.”

In a recent edition of Consumer Reports on Health (Vol.20, No.2, Feb., 2008), the heading reads: Find Friends At Work:

“A study published in the American Journal of Public Health analyzed survey data of some 24,000 men and women and found a strong link between social support at work and overall emotional health. People who said they had few close friends at work were two to three times more likely to report depression than those with strong social ties. Other research has shown that good relations on the job can spill over to a happy home life too. So, if your cubicle enighbor invites you to lunch, say yes.”

You can find more quotes and statistics about the negative impact of interpersonal conflict in the workplace in the sidebar at Creative Edge Focusing.

Aggressiveness, competitiveness, one-up-manship, gossiping, back-stabbing: these are all negative emotions brought up in a workplace based upon competition.

Cooperation, mutual help, warmth, care, friendship, backpatting: these are positive emotions brought about when collaboration, not competition, is the norm.

Sound too “touchy-feely” for the workplace? Remember what it feels like to turn a Caring Feeling Presence, instead of a judgmental, critical attitude, toward your own vulnerable inner places. Now, imagine being greeted with this same Focusing Attitude, this same treasuring of difference, vulnerability, neediness at work. Not such a bad goal to strive for! And Collaborative Edge Decision Making Methods take a step in this direction. The direct goal: the most creative, innovative decisions imaginable, with the motivation to carry them out. The by -product: feelings of warmth, collegiality, empathy, and mutual support among co-workers. Read all about how collaboration instead of competition builds positive feelings in the workplace and find the “How To’s” for Collaborative Decision Making Meetings in our e-newsletter archive.

Learn more about Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, filled with free downloads on creativity, spirituality, collaborative thinking, parenting, innovation in business, and many other aspects of application of Focusing and Listening skills at home, at work, in your community, and globally.

Download our Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual (”Ajas” Instantaneos en espanol) for ten exercises bringing Listening and Focusing into your everyday life starting today.

Download our complete Intuitive Focusing Instructions to start practicing Relaxation, Getting a Felt Sense, and Intuitive Focusing today!

See actual demonstrations of Listening/Focusing in our Self-Help package, a manual in English or Spanish, four CDs of Focusing Instructions, and a DVD with four demonstrations of actual listening/focusing sessions — everything you need to start your own Listening/Focusing Partnership or Support Group or to incorporate these basic self-help skills into existing support groups.

In the side bar at Creative Edge Focusing, subscribe to our free e-newsletter for weekly reminders to practice Relaxation and Focusing exercises and join our free yahoo group, Creative Edge Practice, for ongoing demonstrations, practice, and support.

Find classes/workshops/phone coaching in our Listings section or Coaching/Classes/Consulting with Dr. McGuire in the Store.

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way.

Business, collaboration, community building, conflict resolution, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | collaboration, collaborative decision making, conflict resolution, Creativity, felt shifts, Gendlin's Focusing, inner wisdom, innovative problem solving, Intuitive Focusing, paradigm shifts, self-help skills, task-oriented meetings

GENDLIN’S FOCUSING AND COLLABORATIVE DECISION MAKING

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By Kathy McGuire, January 16, 2008 11:59 pm

Instant “Ahah!”s #5: Collaborative Decision Making

Free Downloads:

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

SHARING LEADERSHIP AND IMPASSE RESOLUTION

From Dr. McGuire’s article, “Collaborative Edge Decision Making“:

“5. Shared Leadership Component at Decision Making Meetings

Rather than depending upon the skill of a naturally talented chairperson, being held captive by the caprice of a bad one, or suffering from the chaos and anarchy of “the leaderless group,” in the Collaborative Edge Decision Making method , the skill of leadership is broken down into a number of tasks which are then assigned to various group members. No one person carries the onus of staying on top of all aspects of the task, and all group members come to feel responsible for contributing to good group process.

The five task roles can be rotated among group members from meeting to meeting, or, with group agreement, certain members can specialize in a particular task. In a more hierarchical setting, the supervisor or coordinator may take the role of agenda keeper each meeting. In a different group, a person too shy to be process monitor may be a very assertive time-keeper, and so on. However, in general, it is a good idea to keep rotating the roles in order to insure equality of ownership and responsibility. As everyone shares the tasks involved in group leadership, everyone will also take ownership of the group process and more actively participate in decision making.

6. Creative Edge Impasse Resolution Component

According to the Creating At The Edge principles, the solutions to problems are implicit in the intuitive “feel of the whole thing,” the Creative Edge. Similarly, conflicts and arguments hold within them important information for decision making, accessed through the Creative Edge “intuitions” of the participants.

Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening are the Core Skills for articulating innovative solutions from the Creative Edge. So, when decision making breaks down at meetings, the way out of the impasse can be found through turning to a variety of approaches which use the Listening and Focusing skills and the Interpersonal Focusing method to facilitate the creation of new solutions, and Paradigm Shifts, out of the Creative Edge intuitions of participants.”

For a complete explanation of the theory behind access to The Creative Edge and innovative decision making, you can download Dr. McGuire’s comprehensive article, “Collaborative Edge Decision Making Method, ” . As a bonus, the Appendix of this article includes Handouts you can use at actual meetings, one for each role in Shared Leadership.

Reread the simple “How To’s For Groups” (Instant “Ahah!” #5 in Mini-Manual). They define the five roles in Shared Leadership and various Listening/Focusing methods for Impasse resolution. The “How To’s” arose from my dissertation research, Listening and Interruptions in Task-Oriented Groups, University of Chicago, 1977, with Eugene Gendlin, creator of Focusing (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984) as advisor.

Over these four weeks, we are looking at incorporating the procedures into groups that you belong to:

What are the plusses and minuses of these meetings?
What is the “whole body feel” of being at these meetings?
Do people interrupt each other?
Are conflicts polarized and never changing?
Do people feel free to share their negative feelings about a decision?
Does a minority do all the talking?
Is there a chance to pause to formulate a new but vague idea?
Can you imagine asking the group to try out the Shared Leadership model in Instant “Ahah!” #5?
Can you imagine incorporating Listening and Focusing skills into these meetings? What would the difference be?

Learn more about Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, filled with free downloads on creativity, spirituality, collaborative thinking, parenting, innovation in business, and many other aspects of application of Focusing and Listening skills at home, at work, in your community, and globally.

Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.

Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.

You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!! Today’s blog is part of the year-long e-course offered through the Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter.

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way.

Business, collaboration, conflict resolution, core skills, Creativity, Intuitive Focusing, LISTENING, self-help skills | collaboration, collaborative decision making, conflict resolution, Creativity, felt shifts, Gendlin's Focusing, inner wisdom, innovative problem solving, Intuitive Focusing, paradigm shifts, self-help skills, task-oriented meetings

COLLABORATIVE DECISION MAKING MEETINGS: HAVING CREATIVE, EFFICIENT MEETINGS

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By Kathy McGuire, January 10, 2008 4:46 pm

EVERYONE PARTICIPATES IN MEETINGS!
LET’S MAKE THEM PRODUCTIVE AND PLEASANT

If you are in a business or academic setting, you may have decision making meetings many times a week, even several times a day. They may be in a twosome, a small group or team, or a larger group.

There are meetings of religious community committees and non-profit organizations we belong to. And, we have decision making meetings with our significant others, our partners, children, or whole family every day!

Below you will find a link to the simple “How To’s For Groups” which arose from my dissertation research, Listening and Interruptions in Task-Oriented Groups, University of Chicago, 1977, with Eugene Gendlin, creator of Focusing (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984, 2007) as advisor.

You will also be able to download articles explaining the theory and practice around incorporating Focused Listening and Intuitive Focusing into task-oriented meetings.

Main point: creativity and innovation happen when people are allowed enough of a “pause” to check in with their whole intuitive knowledge about an issue or situation. Intuitive Focusing, with Focused Listening, allows space for articulating completely new ideas, not simply recycle old, polarized arguments.

Free Downloads:

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

Over the next four weeks, we will look at incorporating the Collaborative Thinking procedures into groups that you belong to.

You can begin learning now by thinking about the groups you belong to, the meetings you attend:

What are the plusses and minuses of these meetings?
What is the “whole body feel” of being at these meetings?
Do people interrupt each other?
Are conflicts polarized and never changing?
Do people feel free to share their negative feelings about a decision?
Does a minority do all the talking?
Is there a chance to pause to formulate a new but vague idea?

For a complete explanation of the theory behind access to The Creative Edge and innovative decision making, you can download Dr. McGuire’s comprehensive article,
“Collaborative Edge Decision Making Method, ” As a bonus, the Appendix of this article includes Handouts you can use at actual meetings, one for each role in Shared Leadership.

The PRISMS/S Problem Solving Method, with its Core Skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focusing Listening, and the seven methods from The Creative Edge Pyramid for incorporating PRISMS/S at every level of organization, can be explored in the Core Concepts area at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, and the many Free and Purchased resources found there. Articles en espanol

Read the simple How To’s for Collaborative Thinking at Creative Edge Focusing’s website.

Download Dr. McGuire’s article “Collaborative Edge Decision Making” en espanol

Metodo de Toma de Decisiones del Borde de Colaboracion

Read theory connecting Pauses for Intuitive Focusing with Quality of Decisions in an excerpt from Dr. McGuire’s research, “Listening and Interruptions In Task-Oriented Groups”

Learn more about Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening and Creative Edge Organizations at Creative Edge Focusing’s website, filled with free downloads on creativity, spirituality, collaborative thinking, parenting, innovation in business, and many other aspects of application of Focusing and Listening skills at home, at work, in your community, and globally.

Download our Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual (”Ajas” Instantaneos en espanol) for ten exercises bringing Listening and Focusing into your everyday life starting today.

Download our complete Intuitive Focusing Instructions to start practicing Relaxation, Getting a Felt Sense, and Intuitive Focusing today!

See actual demonstrations of Listening/Focusing in our Self-Help package, a manual in English or Spanish, four CDs of Focusing Instructions, and a DVD with four demonstrations of actual listening/focusing sessions — everything you need to start your own Listening/Focusing Partnership or Support Group or to incorporate these basic self-help skills into existing support groups.

In the side bar at Creative Edge Focusing, subscribe to our free e-newsletter for weekly reminders to practice Relaxation and Focusing exercises and join our free yahoo group, Creative Edge Practice, for ongoing demonstrations, practice, and support.

Find classes/workshops/phone coaching in our Listings section or Coaching/Classes/Consulting with Dr. McGuire in the Store.

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director