“WHY CRY?” PART TWO: VIDEOS OF MBTI “THINKER” VS. “FEELER”
In “Why Cry?” Part One, “Are Women Better At Crying Than Men?”, I pointed to a gender difference, but I also found a better descriptor in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator distinction between Thinkers and Feelers, allowing for a goodly percentage of male Feelers and women Thinkers who do not fit the gender mold on this distinction.
Here, I will compare two videos, one of Eugene Gendlin describing Focusing as a Thinker on the MBTI, a second of Kelly Corrigan describing Women’s Strength and Connection as a Feeler on the MBTI, becoming “touched” and “moved” to tears during her presentation.
Gene Gendlin on YouTube
First, let’s take a look at Gene Gendlin, creator of Focusing, in person on YouTube, through the wonderful efforts of Simon d’Ortega and Nada Lou. You will see Gendlin, now in his 80s, in his gentleness, his intelligence, his great wisdom, and his wonderful humor. However, you will not see him “being touched” or “being moved” to tears (I have, however, seen Gendlin with tears. So I include these videos just as a contrast in these moments)
Short but sweet, less than two minutes: “That Place That Knows”
Longer:
“Theory, TAE, and Democracy
Thinking At The Edge Part One: Mary Hendricks-Gendlin Introduction
For more, go to www.youtube.com and Search Eugene Gendlin.
Being Touched: Kelly Corrigan on Transcending: Words on Women and Strength
I got this message by email from my “Women Relatives” group:
“I wonder if you’ve seen this ~ it’s perfect and so are all of you ~
friends, sisters, moms.” And the following link:
Transcending: Words on Women and Strength
Okay, in case you thing this topic of tears is “too heavy,” here are two more humorous YouTubes to check out, totally for fun and having nothing to do with Focusing:
“The Mom Song,” this is hysterical. Sung to William Tell Overture, about 3 minutes.
“The Mean Kitty Song”
Tears As Harbingers Of Deep Meaning
I have collected countless paragraphs from works of fiction which mention the “coming of tears” as harbingers of deep meaning — profound love, relief, connection, millions of things. We all know that people cry at births and weddings, beautiful, moving music, sunsets, moments of compassion seen between people, etc. Even grieving, if looked at without prejudice, contains many warm, joyful memories and re-connections with the beloved. Etc., etc.
What matters to me in terms of Focusing is that, noticing even the tiniest sheen of tears in the eyes, or sometimes just the softening of the skin around the eyes, or the quivering of a cheek muscle, or a slight wiping gesture toward the eyes — if the person or the Listener/therapist notices these “openings,” and suggests spending some Focusing time with “Whatever brings the tears,” huge wealth of personal, profound, meaning/carrying forward usually arises, as well as life-giving moments of I-Thou connection between the participants (even a whole group of “witnesses”) that is Sacred/soul-building.
In “Why Cry?” Part Three, I will explore phenomenological research on the kind of crying called “Tears of Wonder/Joy,” a positive experience of awe and transcendence.
Free Downloads:
Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)
“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual
Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.
Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.
You can try out “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”
Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course
Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course
See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.
See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.
Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.
Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops
Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director
gender, health, Intuitive Focusing, MBTI, personality differences, spirituality
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being moved, Being Touched, crying, Eugene Gendlin videos, gender, Gendlin's Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, Intuitive Focusing, MBTI, personality differences, tears, Thinker vs. Feeler, transcendence, women's bondling through tears, women's strength through connection
Themocracy
It is interesting how you offer the two sides of life, mainly the thinking and the feeling, I wonder which was first or both were combined when we came to this world and then for some reason one of them got more stimulated and the person ended up using it as an strategy for survival…
Even though we assume women are most Feelers than Thinkers, I’ve known several men being the contrary. That is way is important we complement at home, work, etc.
We get more the juice of life! Agnes